So, you want to be a millionaire, huh? Like it’s easy? Like you just stumble over a pile of gold while looking for a decent bagel? Honestly, the sheer optimism of some investors! It’s enough to make a cynic like myself weep…with amusement, naturally. Everyone’s chasing these “growth stocks”—volatile little firecrackers that’ll either make you rich or leave you eating ramen for a decade. A perfectly acceptable outcome, by the way. I’ve known some very content ramen connoisseurs.
But let’s talk about Berkshire Hathaway [BRKA +0.25%] [BRKB 0.51%]. Yes, that Berkshire. The one Warren Buffett built. Sixty-odd years he spent tinkering with this company. Sixty years! That’s enough time to learn the banjo, become a master cheese sculptor, and still have time to run a moderately successful haberdashery. And now you want a piece of it? Well, good luck with that. They’re selling shares for…get this…$750,000 a pop! Oy vey! Don’t worry, though. They also have some cheaper ones, at a mere $500. It’s like buying a Yugo versus a Rolls Royce, only both are painted beige and driven by accountants.
Now, Buffett was a clever fellow. He managed a roughly 20% annual growth rate for all those years. Impressive. But let’s be realistic. This isn’t the Wild West anymore. Expecting that kind of growth now is like expecting a pigeon to win the Kentucky Derby. So, let’s be conservative. Let’s assume 11% annual gains. That’s…reasonable. Relatively. See the table below, and try not to get too excited. I’m warning you.
| Growing at 11% for | $1,000 invested monthly |
|---|---|
| Five years | $74,734 |
| 10 years | $200,664 |
| 15 years | $412,864 |
| 20 years | $770,434 |
| 25 years | $1,372,960 |
| 30 years | $2,388,251 |
Of course, Berkshire could grow faster, or slower. Maybe a rogue asteroid will hit Omaha. Or maybe everyone will suddenly decide that insurance is a terrible idea. It’s a free country! And the amount you invest, and how often, will, shockingly, also make a difference. Who knew?
So, what are you actually buying? A piece of a whole lot of stuff. Geico insurance (they have a gecko, apparently), Benjamin Moore paints (for painting things, naturally), See’s Candies (for, you guessed it, candy), Dairy Queen (blizzards, anyone?), a railroad (BNSF – very scenic, I hear), and a bunch of other things that will likely bore you to tears. They also own chunks of Chevron, American Express, Coca-Cola, and Bank of America. A diversified portfolio, they call it. I call it a hedge against…well, everything.
Look, I’m not saying don’t invest in Berkshire Hathaway. It’s probably…stable. Relatively. But don’t expect to be sipping Mai Tais on your yacht next Tuesday. It’s built to last, yes, but lasting isn’t always the same as exploding with profit. Just saying. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a perfectly good bowl of ramen to attend to.
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2026-02-17 10:23