Bank Thief Gets Just a Year for Snatching $830K in a Sneaky Banking Bash! 😲💰

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Bank Thief Gets Just a Year for Snatching $830K in a Sneaky Banking Bash! 😲💰

Wells Fargo bank building, looking innocent but hiding secrets.

Imagine this: a sneaky, silver-haired gentleman named Kenneth Gould, who was supposed to be the boss of payrolls, decided he was bored of regular jobs. Nope, he fancied a little feast on the bank’s piggy bank! And what better way than to steal a whopping $830,000? Yep, this 69-year-old clever-clogs waltzed right into trouble, but with a cheeky grin.

In October 2017, Gould — who ran a payroll company based out of sunny Clovis, California — decided the bank’s magic trick of “sending money” wasn’t quite quick enough for him. So, he pulled off a crafty illusion: fraudulent ACH payments from a client’s account to his own, thinking the bank wouldn’t notice. Typical! The bank, with all its fancy algorithms, tried to catch him when the funds ran dry, but our sneaky protagonist was quicker — withdrawing the loot with cashier’s checks like a banking ninja. 🥷💵

And what happened next? Well, as all good stories do, it’s a tale of promises too cheeky to keep. Gould told the bank he’d return the stolen gold—er, money—but that was just a joke, because he never did. Instead, he passed the looted cash to his client, hoping that the client would pay him back one day… but alas, the client turned out to be a gambler in a hurry to lose the loot in a high-stakes poker game. 🎲💸

Remarkably, the courts gave poor Gould a one-year vacation — in prison! Yes, a whole one year for such a colossal heist. The jury clearly thought, “Well, that’s enough time to reflect on your mischievous money tricks!”

And so, dear reader, remember: no matter how clever you think you are, banks and bankers are pretty good at catching magpies — especially when they start stealing the shiny stuff. 🦅🚓

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2025-06-04 22:03