Balancer’s Blunder: When DeFi Turns Dramedy for $128M! 💸🤡

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Well, darling, it appears that our dear old OG DeFi star, Balancer, has stumbled spectacularly-bleeding out over $128 million in shiny digital trinkets. Who knew all those blockchain fortress walls weren’t quite as impenetrable as everyone liked to pretend? 🏦💥

As if that wasn’t enough of a catastrophe to thrill the jesters, multiple security firms-from PeckShield to the delightful Mikko Ohtamaa-are racing against the clock, reporting that Balancer and its charming little doppelgängers are under attack. The losses? Rubbing shoulders with the billions-well, approximately $128.64 million, but who’s counting? Certainly not the hackers, apparently. 🕵️‍♂️💰

Meanwhile, in the grand tradition of Shakespearean tragedies, the culprit is whispered to be a “faulty smart contract check.” Sweetheart, just what every blockbuster needs-more bugs than a cricket hideout. And with at least 27 forks lurking around like bad pennies, the contagion isn’t just spreading; it’s having a veritable ball. The attacker? Still at large, deploying contracts like a villain on liberty, cackling as they mint new ERC-20s like hotcakes. 🎭🔥

Balancer’s official tepid statement? Oh, just a hint of concern: “We’re aware of a potential exploit impacting Balancer v2 pools. Our engineering and security teams are investigating with high priority.” High priority, indeed! One might say it’s as urgent as a cat in a bathtub. 🛁🐱

Remember September 2023? The DNS attack-oh, the joys of social engineering! A breach at EuroDNS that unleashed a theft worth roughly $240,000. And amidst this delightful chaos, a once-dormant whale wallet, 0x0090, woke up after years of silence and merrily chucked more than $6.5 million straight out of Balancer’s open arms. Ah, the sweet scent of opportunism! 🐋💸

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2025-11-03 14:04