
Wednesday’s market drama: Baidu (BIDU) served the kind of disappointment usually reserved for discovering your “luxury” skincare serum is just water in a fancy bottle. Shares dipped 3% while the S&P 500 snoozed along at -0.2%. Classic.
The Numbers That Made Me Spill My Chardonnay
Q2 revenue: ¥32.7 billion ($4.55B). That’s a 4% year-over-year decline, slightly below analysts’ ¥32.9B guesswork. Let’s be honest – we’ve all been there. Remember when I swore I’d hold Tesla through the crypto crash? Shudders.
Non-GAAP net income? Down 35% to ¥4.8B ($668M). But here’s the twist: per ADS profits beat estimates at ¥13.58 vs. expected ¥13.33. Small mercies, like finding a single M&M in your empty candy jar.
AI: The Emperor’s New Cloud?
Management insists AI Cloud is their “it” accessory: “robust growth” powered by “full-stack capabilities”. Cute. Like when I bought a Peloton bike thinking it would magically transform my Netflix-watching stamina into marathon prowess. Let’s revisit this in Q4, shall we?
Mobility Dreams vs. Market Realities
Apollo Go robotaxis: apparently they’re “leading in left- and right-hand drive markets”. Adorable. Reminds me of my first attempt at parallel parking – lots of enthusiasm, questionable execution. But hey, at least they’re not trying to monetize my cat’s Instagram like some desperate content creators.
Portfolio Manager’s Checklist Today:
Still holding my nose and buying the dip? Or is this the financial equivalent of texting your ex at 2am? 🚗
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2025-08-21 01:33