Proto Labs: A Fleeting High

The analysts, those perfectly coiffed vultures, were expecting thirty-four cents a share. Thirty-four! They got forty-four. FORTY-FOUR! And sales clocked in at $136.5 million, a decent bump from where they were. Beating the lines, top and bottom. It’s enough to send the suits into a frenzy, popping champagne and preening. But I’ve seen this movie before. It ALWAYS ends badly.

You Won’t Believe Why XRP is Suddenly Feeling So Good About Itself!

After plummeting nearly 20% to its lowest point since November 2024 (I mean, who doesn’t love a good dramatic flair?), XRP bounced back like a rubber ball, climbing roughly 15% to flirt with the $1.30-$1.40 range. It’s as if the coin said, “Hey, look at me! I’m not dead yet!” all while the rest of the crypto market looked on with mild concern, like a parent watching their child get back on a bike after a nasty fall.

Bitfarms Ditches Bitcoin, Hitches AI Wagon – Stocks Go Bonkers!

Well, slap my knee and call me surprised! Bitfarms (BITF), those erstwhile bitcoin miners, have decided to trade in their pickaxes for slide rules and join the AI gold rush. They’re packing up their maple syrup and heading south, rebranding as Keel Infrastructure – a name that sounds like it belongs on a ship captained by a man with a wooden leg and a penchant for tall tales.

Tesla: Millionaire Maker or Just a Really Expensive Ride?

The question is, is this still a ticket to early retirement, or are we looking at a beautifully designed, extremely expensive paperweight? Because let’s be honest, the stock market is full of things that look like a shortcut to wealth, but mostly just deliver stress and questionable life choices.

Baxter: A Gut-Level Gamble in a Dying Market

They make the stuff hospitals need. Not the glamorous, robot-assisted surgery bullshit—that’s for the Instagram doctors—but the surgical sealants, the beds, the IV drips. The mundane, vital infrastructure of a crumbling healthcare system. It’s not sexy, no. But old people break. A LOT. And the Baby Boomers? They’re not exactly slowing down the carnage. It’s a demographic inevitability, a slow-motion train wreck, and Baxter is selling the bandages. You can’t argue with that, not if you’re willing to look past the bloodstains.

Bloom Energy: A Flicker in the Darkness

Last night, Bloom reported a paltry $0.45 per share, scrubbed clean of unpleasant truths, on sales of $777.7 million. Enough to momentarily stir the pot, enough for the market to twitch. The stock, predictably, has offered a meager rise, about 1% as of this hour. A breadcrumb for the hopeful.

Best Movies About Rich People, Ranked

Sofia Coppola’s film is a darkly funny crime story inspired by real events. It follows a group of teenagers in Los Angeles who become obsessed with fame and use social media to find out when celebrities are away from home, so they can rob them. The movie looks at our culture’s obsession with expensive things and how some young people try to find meaning and status through stealing. It’s a striking, though unsettling, look at wealth, privilege, and a lack of morals among the young people of Calabasas.

Netflix Is Removing Every Season of a Beloved Modern Sitcom

The show began on Fox and, while critics loved it, it had a difficult start. It ran for three seasons, from 2003 to 2006, but struggled with low viewership despite having a dedicated fan base, which ultimately led to its cancellation. The show’s creator, Mitchell Hurwitz, later said he had poured all his energy into the show to satisfy viewers, but realized he couldn’t consistently maintain that high standard week after week, and decided it was time to stop.