qfx 
But darling, August is here, and suddenly, SOL’s looking a bit… deflated. Like a balloon at a vegan birthday party 🎈🌱. Investors are doing the crypto shuffle—selling faster than you can say “tax implications.” And who can blame them? Everyone loves locking in gains like they’re locking their ex’s Netflix password.
Coinbase Institutional made its grand announcement on social media platform X (formerly Twitter, but let’s not dwell on that tragedy) on July 29. The star of the show? Nano XRP U.S. Perpetual-Style Futures, set to debut on August 18 through Coinbase Derivatives. The firm proclaimed:
But $4k? Pfft, that’s no joke. It’s like that ex who keeps ghosting you – dense, resistant, and probably a distribution top from past heartbreaks. Statistically, charging straight through without a fakeout is about as likely as me winning an Oscar for this crypto gig. Bulls might poke a wick up there, but sustaining it? Nah, needs a crowd of momentum traders and some serious buying pressure. And RSI over 80? Oof, that’s overbought territory, screaming for a chill pill or a quick dip. Could be a sideways shuffle or a pullback, but hey, after this parabolic lunacy, even ETH needs a coffee break. ☕ If it holds above $3,750 without melting down from profit-takers, maybe it’ll smash through. Otherwise, a dip to $3,400 could just recharge for round two. Fingers crossed! 🤞
The second quarter bore fruit: premium income swelled by nearly 5%, net investment income rose by 3%. Yet the harvest felt meager, as if the soil had been sown with doubt. The top line, though slightly exceeding expectations, trembled like a leaf in a gust. Beneath, the core income—after-tax adjusted operating profit—slipped by 12%, a quiet tremor in the chest of investors.
The agreement shields Korea’s sensitive agricultural sectors—rice and beef—from further market opening, much like how one might shield their secret stash of cookies from hungry siblings. And just in time too! The looming threat of 25% tariffs was set to crash the party on August 1, but alas, cooler heads (and bigger wallets) prevailed.
GeneDx’s second-quarter results, while undeniably sprightly, were not merely a matter of numbers on a page. Revenue had taken a brisk turn for the better, and the bottom line, once a forlorn figure, had now donned a waistcoat and declared itself in the black. Yet it was the manner in which these figures surpassed the consensus forecasts that truly set the tone for the week. Management, in a moment of uncharacteristic exuberance, had also tweaked its guidance, as though adjusting the sails of a ship in a gale.
This week, the stock’s year-to-date ascent of 65% might be mistaken for a dance. But the music is faint, and the floorboards creak. Investors, like moths, cluster around its modest valuation, convinced the fireflies ahead will soon blaze into constellations. Yet earnings reports, those brittle parchment leaves, have seldom stirred the stock from its drowsy drift.
Throughout the year 2025, the eerie dance continued—Nebius, cloaked in ambition, became an unwilling accomplice in Nvidia’s latest alchemy: equipping data centers with the Blackwell GPU architecture. One might wonder if the company’s true purpose is to serve as a repository for silicon spirits, helping Nvidia’s GPUs breathe life into the data-hungry abyss. Yet, Nebius’ ambitions extend beyond simple hardware—its tentacles reach into the realms of software, autonomous vehicles, and artificial intelligence, each a siren song promising riches and ruin alike.
IntoTheBlock’s Large Holder Netflow metric tracks the net daily movement of coins into or out of wallets controlling at least 1% of the circulating supply. According to the latest data, Bitcoin Cash whales recorded a net inflow of 66,040 BCH on Tuesday. This marks the largest single-day whale accumulation since the monthly high of 103,520 BCH on July 4. Imagine that, a veritable ocean of digital fish swimming upstream! 🐟🌊
Observe the daily chart’s grand illusion, where Floki struts with higher lows and leaps upward like a jester on springs. From May to July, buy-side frenzy clusters like courtiers around a king, signaling breakouts that promise riches but often deliver jests. The recent climb? A vertical farce, hinting at altcoin theatrics in their waning glory. 💥😏