qfx

Now, last week, the esteemed analysts at Jefferies – a firm whose pronouncements are often treated with the same reverence as prophecies from a slightly unreliable oracle² – declared UPS a ‘HALO’ trade. This isn’t, alas, a reference to a celestial choir, but rather a rather clever acronym for “Heavy Asset, Low Obsolescence.” The idea being that in a world obsessed with the ephemeral magic of software and artificial intelligence, things you can actually kick – warehouses, trucks, a global delivery network – are starting to look rather attractive. They’ve even gone so far as to suggest a price target of $135 per share, which, if achieved, would represent a 38% upside. A substantial return, even for those accustomed to the somewhat optimistic projections of financial soothsayers.

The truth of it is, a lot of investors don’t rightly understand what they’re buyin’. They reckon it’s all about gettin’ the biggest bang for their buck, immediate-like. But diversification, see, that’s a bit like spreadin’ your eggs amongst a whole coop of hens. It don’t guarantee you’ll get the biggest, fanciest egg, but it does lessen the chance of all your eggs gettin’ broken by a single rascal of a rooster. A single stock might make you rich quick, but it can just as easily leave you holdin’ an empty bag.

The recent quarterly reports, naturally, are… encouraging. Though I confess, such displays of profit always fill me with a vague sense of unease, as if some fundamental law of nature has been momentarily suspended. They speak of opportunities, of growth, of a future brimming with… chips. But let us examine this ‘growth’ with a discerning eye, shall we?

Those who bravely, or perhaps recklessly, ‘bought the dip’ are likely nursing losses that could fund a small principality. The question, then, isn’t merely can Canopy Growth recover, but should one even attempt to catch a falling… well, you get the idea.

The Danish firm, Novo Nordisk, is planning to adjust the list prices of Ozempic and Wegovy. A rather drastic adjustment, actually. The market, naturally, is in a flutter. One hears whispers of competition from Eli Lilly and their Zepbound, and frankly, a bit of a price war is rather amusing. It’s all so terribly… dramatic.

The stock’s been a bit sluggish to start the year, down around 2%. Not a catastrophe, mind you, but enough to make a few eyebrows twitch. And the company’s recent quarterly numbers were…well, let’s just say they weren’t exactly bursting with fizzy excitement. The question is: is this a wobble, or the beginning of a rather alarming tumble?