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Why the excitement? Joby’s stock hopped up after the company announced it would be joining the White House’s eVTOL Integration Pilot Program. Yes, eVTOL – those electric flying contraptions that hover and zoom like something from a child’s dream journal. The White House, under a decree from President Trump, has decided that certain eVTOL crafts, once suitably matured, could begin flying in select markets without the usual bureaucratic red tape of full Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) certification. Oh, the joys of skirting around the regulations that so often bog down the world of aviation. A sweet deal for Joby, no doubt.

The company’s valuation, ever the dramatist, bounded higher following the UK Investment Security Unit’s approval of its acquisition of Oxford Ionics. A bureaucratic hurdle, in the grand scheme, as thrilling as a well-timed pause in a lecture. Yet, for investors, it signals a curtain call for the deal’s completion-though one must wonder if the stage is set for a farce.

The ruling’s terms? A ban on exclusive deals with partners like Apple (a minor inconvenience, like telling a vampire to stop drinking blood). But here’s the kicker: Alphabet must now share some of its search data with rivals. Why should investors care? Because in the realm of AI, data is the new gold. And giving Microsoft a peek at Google’s treasure trove is like handing a ninja a scroll of secrets. Microsoft, that clever fox, already has a stake in OpenAI. Add Google’s data to the mix, and suddenly, Bing isn’t just a search engine-it’s a generational AI prodigy with a caffeine addiction.

So, what happened? The Washington Post, no stranger to stirring up a storm, published a juicy little the Trump administration (yes, them again) allegedly planned to connect 25 child fatalities to Covid vaccines. Ah, yes, nothing like throwing in a little children’s drama to spice things up! BioNTech, you see, is the co-creator of Comirnaty, a vaccine that’s supposed to keep us from catching Covid. Its partner in this endeavor? Pfizer-those big pharma folks who could probably buy their own country if they wanted to.

Adobe, in its perpetual pursuit of corporate salvation, reported revenues nearing $6 billion-a remarkable feat, one might say, if not for the fact that it represented a mere 1% increase over the same quarter of 2024. A question hovers, though, above this modest figure: Was it enough? Could it ever have been enough to sate the hunger of a market that craves only exponential, unrelenting growth? And yet, despite this unsatisfying increase, there was, in a lesser, quieter triumph, an 8% rise in adjusted net income, which amounted to nearly $2.3 billion-$5.31 per share. This, of course, was better than the average analyst’s whispered prophecy, which had anticipated a paltry $5.18 per share. But is that truly something to celebrate?