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The author, a gentleman named Van Geelen, posited a “2028 Global Intelligence Crisis,” a rather dramatic title for a speculation on the potential for artificial intelligence to… disrupt things. The theory, as it were, involved a doom loop of job losses, declining wages, and a subsequent curtailment of consumption. A perfectly plausible scenario, of course, though one could equally predict a renaissance of artisanal cheese-making. The market, it seems, prefers to dwell on the negative. A 38% plunge in the S&P 500 was predicted. One wonders if such pronouncements are made for insight or simply to add a touch of theatricality to the daily tedium.

Fortunately, there exists a rather ingenious contraption, the Roundhill Generative AI and Technology ETF (CHAT 1.90%), designed to rectify such lapses in foresight. It’s a fund, you see, dedicated entirely to companies dabbling in the creation of AI infrastructure, software, and platforms. And, rather cleverly, it has a substantial portion of its assets – a good twenty per cent, if you please – invested in the likes of Nvidia, Alphabet, Micron Technology, and Amazon. A decidedly sound arrangement, one might venture to suggest.

Zscaler, you see, purports to offer ‘zero-trust’ security. A curious phrase. As if trust, that most fragile of human constructs, could be simply removed from the equation. It is as if to say, “Let us assume everyone is a scoundrel, and then build a system to account for their inevitable villainy.” The architecture, it is explained, treats every connection as hostile. One pictures a digital customs officer, perpetually suspicious of every packet of data attempting to cross the border. It begins, naturally, with the identity. They scrutinize logins, devices, and locations, as if a rogue employee couldn’t simply borrow a colleague’s credentials and a slightly misleading IP address. A most thorough system, if one discounts the inherent fallibility of human beings and the relentless ingenuity of those who seek to circumvent such systems.

So, these car companies, Ford, General Motors, Tesla… they think slapping a famous name on a vehicle is enough? Please! It’s like thinking a toupee makes you young again. It might fool some people, but the smart buyers? They want value. They want dependability. And, let’s be honest, they want a warranty that doesn’t require a lawyer to decipher.

The pursuit of income from such a hoard – a steady drip of dividends to fund the acquisition of slightly less essential items – is, apparently, a common aspiration. Is it realistic? Well, realistically speaking, most things are improbable. But some improbabilities are merely… less improbable than others. Here’s one way, involving three exchange-traded funds (ETFs) from Vanguard. Don’t ask why Vanguard. It just… is. Like the number 42.