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But hold onto your hats, because not all news is bad. Analyst Axel Adler-whose job it is to analyze stuff way beyond our pay grade-noticed some interesting patterns. Starting from the end of February 2024, the average net flow of Bitcoin in and out of exchanges has been mostly negative. Basically, people are taking coins *off* exchanges faster than you can say “hodl,” only putting money in twice-probably just to check if they still have control of themselves. This outflow suggests that investors, long-term ones, are hoarding Bitcoin like it’s the last roll of toilet paper in a drought. 🧻

In his grandiose proclamations-delivered on the stage amidst other financial prophets like Jim Rickards and Brent Johnson-he declared his belief that each dip in Bitcoin’s value is no catastrophe but a divine opportunity. “Buy when others panic,” he intones, as if his voice alone could summon market not chaos, but treasure. He owns roughly seventy-three Bitcoins-an amount that would make even a modest town jealous-and aims for a hundred by year’s end, a feat so daring it could only be measured in the stars.

Ethereum (ETH) is still up 46% over the past month, showing strong momentum, despite a 3.6% drop over the last week. The price has hovered between $3,380 and $3,874 over the last week, suggesting consolidation after recent gains. It’s like a roller coaster that’s decided to take a breather before the next big drop. 🎢

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane-BONK’s nearly done a 40% nosedive from its peak of $0.00004075, skyrocketing off a low of $0.00001143 back in June. Our hero rallied 256% all the way up-then, like a drama queen, it took a bow and fell back, bottoming at $0.00002411. But hold on, the EMA crossover-the one that makes traders hyperventilate-still blushes bullish, hinting that our meme hero isn’t over yet. It’s just taking a breather, maybe, or practicing its dramatic exit.