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THE MLP’S HEADWINDS ARE LIKE A STORM OF ROTTEN EGGS-UNPLEASANT, UNEXPECTED, AND TEMPORARY. BUT BEHIND THE SMELL LIES A GROWTH ENGINE THAT’S STILL PUMPING OIL-SLICKED DREAMS INTO THE SYSTEM. THE K-1 FORM? A BUREAUCRATIC NIGHTMARE, BUT FOR THOSE WHO CAN HANDLE IT, IT’S THE KEY TO A LOCKER FULL OF DIVIDENDS.

It wasn’t long before these satellite competitors, both determined to outdo one another in a manner that would make any over-caffeinated executive proud, merged to create the now ubiquitous SiriusXM (SIRI). The moment was a peculiar one, rather akin to a particularly disagreeable cocktail-somewhat flat, yet strangely enduring. But, like every other bubble that surfaces in the corporate world, it wasn’t long before things began to get rather crowded, with the advent of streaming music services like Spotify (SPOT), offering competitive pricing with far less flash and far more value.

The current meme-stock circus-where investors juggle low-price shares like fire-breathing squirrels-has anointed Opendoor as its latest ringmaster. Its digital home-flipping model, a blend of cash offers, debt-fueled ambition, and margins thinner than a Luggage’s patience, has somehow become the toast of the town. Yet, as the wizards of the Unseen University of Coders would whisper: “Just because it’s popular doesn’t mean it’s profitable.” ¹

Last week, Alphabet (GOOGL, GOOG) became the fourth $3 trillion company, joining Nvidia, Apple, and Microsoft. Its search engine, with 90% of the internet in its web, and a judge’s nod to keep Chrome intact, gave it a nudge. Cheaper than its peers? Maybe. But let’s not pretend this is a victory parade. It’s more of a funeral for old money.