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On the eve of market opening, Nano made its grand announcement: the company had been graciously accepted into not one, not two, but three esteemed equity indexes managed by S&P Dow Jones Indices. And while this might sound like a grand accomplishment, one can’t help but wonder: why, then, the stock’s decline? It appears that Nano now graces the ranks of the S&P Global Broad Market index (BMI), the S&P Total Market index (TMI), and the SPX Completion index. Ah, but here’s the rub-the true gravity of these indexes, their ability to light up the path to fame, pales in comparison to the likes of the mighty S&P 500. The BMI, for example, is a vast and sprawling creature, a leviathan of 14,782 stocks drawn from 48 countries. So vast, in fact, that it’s almost laughable to call it an “index”-a concept so diluted it might as well be called the “Global Hodgepodge Market Index.”

Data from S&P Global Market Intelligence shows Tempus AI dropped 12.4% from the close of last Friday to Thursday’s market end.

The catalyst for this temporary, fragile bloom was none other than Ken Herbert of RBC Capital, whose reasoning for elevating his price target by 38% is as opaque as the motives that drive the ever-hungry machinery of Wall Street. He had raised his forecast from a modest $65 per share to a seemingly inflated $90, yet offered little more than a quiet nod to his own sense of superiority. In an environment where the stock market acts like an unfeeling beast, manipulated by unseen hands, Herbert’s judgment is yet another layer of fog that seeks to disguise the vulgarity of the reality beneath.

The market, ever the fickle suitor, turned its back on valuations today, as if recoiling from a marriage proposal laced with poison. While the Federal Reserve’s rate cuts had briefly inflamed hopes, Chair Powell’s recent quip-that equities “wear their gowns too loosely”-has left investors clutching their purses like Les Précieuses Ridicules at a ball.