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This diatribe followed Schiff’s grand announcement-a digital gold standard, wrapped in an app and tied to a blockchain, as if such things could sanctify the profane. “Users shall buy gold, store it in vaults, transfer it like digital confetti, and redeem it with the elegance of a medieval barter,” Schiff proclaimed, his voice trembling with the fervor of a man who believes he has solved the human condition. Yet CZ, that jester of decentralization, scoffed at the notion, for what is a token if not a child’s scribble on a napkin, claiming it’s worth a castle? 🏰

The explosive growth of the artificial intelligence (AI) industry has created a systemic crisis: skyrocketing compute prices and a centralized marketplace for the power required to train new models. As companies race to innovate-with ethical stakes running high amid concerns like AI hallucinations and psychosis-a solution is urgently needed. Oh, how the little guys squirm under the weight of these digital overlords! 🧱🔥

Enter Version 4 (V4), complete with a $50 million token buyback program and an audacious leap into real-world assets (RWA). If this doesn’t scream “We’re here to stay”-I don’t know what does!