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Analyst types — those mysterious orchestrators lurking in candlelit chart rooms — are trying to look both optimistic and aloof, a bit like singletons eyeing the last Mini Cheddar at the buffet. Some are erring on the bullish side, thanks partly to macroeconomic conditions (which is really just code for, “Stocks are up, let’s go wild!”). U.S. equities are doing their thing, strutting right into crypto town, but not quite shaking it enough to break the dancefloor.

BitMine Immersion Technologies, warrior in the mines of BTC, suddenly handed in its pickaxe, muttered something about back pain, and announced with grand airs, “From now on, it’s ETH in our coffers!” They call this a strategy. The market gnawed at their stocks, and BMNR closed up 27.17%, probably surprising even the janitor.

Crypto analyst CasiTrades, who’s got a knack for reading the tea leaves, shared an updated outlook complete with a chart that could make your head spin. According to her, a test of the consolidation zone between $2.18 and $2.16 could be the key to whether XRP reclaims its bullish momentum to $3 or decides to take a longer nap. 🛌

If you listen closely, you can hear the whispers in the wind (and probably also the furious keyboard smashing of degenerate traders): a liquidity wave could send HYPE blasting back to its all-time-high, and possibly farther—all the way to the moon, or at least into orbit around a large block of cheese.

According to a missive shared by the House Financial Services GOP (and confirmed by the intrepid journalist Eleanor Terrett, no doubt with a keen eye for the Byzantine machinations of the legislative process), three momentous bills shall be put to the vote: the CLARITY Act, the GENIUS Act, and the Anti-CBDC Surveillance State Act. One can hardly wait with bated breath to behold the outcome of this trifecta of legislative virtuosity. 🎭

But what’s behind this sudden surge in popularity? Well, for starters, the real economic value flowing through the network has gone through the roof 🚀, peaking in January with a single-day high of over $56 million. To put that into perspective, that’s more than Ethereum and Bitcoin combined 💸. And it’s not just about the money; users are also willing to pay extra for faster execution, because who doesn’t love a good speed boost? 🚗

AMINA Bank, a shy creature watched over by Switzerland’s FINMA—with outposts clinging for relevance in Abu Dhabi and Hong Kong—has gifted the world institutional-grade custody and RLUSD trading. Lo, Ripple’s stablecoin now parades through the grand halls of European compliance, as if one could simply put a leash on chaos and declare it trustworthy.

Andre Cronje, the maestro behind Sonic, had orchestrated a double-digit gain on Wednesday, a 15% rally that reclaimed the $0.33 level. The market sentiment was a symphony of speculation, with reports hinting at network development updates and the upcoming ecosystem events. 🎵

The newly launched REX-Osprey Solana + Staking ETF (SSK) drew in an impressive $33 million in first-day trading volume, with its stock closing at $25.85, up 1.5% from its opening. 🚀

Those digital holdings now make up roughly 9% of his estimated $6 billion net worth as of June. Back in 2021, real estate still accounted for 86% of his wealth—today it’s closer to half. 🏘️💸