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Ethereum (ETH) has taken a 33% nosedive from its August high, because, you know, the crypto market loves a good drama. 🎭 But don’t cry for it, Argentina-it’s got strong fundamentals! SoSoValue says ETH ETFs have raked in $584 million this year, bringing the total to $12.9 billion. BlackRock’s ETHA is sitting pretty with $11.7 billion. 💰
John Squire, the crypto Jesus among XRP believers, whipped out a picture of the token and asked, “Hey folks, is $10 really just around the corner? As soon as this month!” And we all paused, took a deep breath, and chuckled. Because, let’s be honest, dreaming of a 400% jump in two weeks is about as likely as finding a unicorn in your backyard. 🦄🏡
There’s this one player, Amazon (AMZN +0.40%), that only went up about 5% last year. Which, in the current market, is practically a recession. But here’s the sneaky part: they were also growing, thanks to AI, e-commerce, and this weird thing called “cloud computing.” Amazon is a solid pick for both the aggressively optimistic and the cautiously pessimistic. The cautious types will appreciate that Amazon wasn’t built on AI; it was already a functioning business, which is a nice change of pace. Even Amazon Web Services (AWS), which does deal in AI chips and platforms, has a bunch of other stuff going on. It’s diversified. Like a sensible adult.
A massive analysis of 100 trillion tokens reveals a surprising shift in how artificial intelligence models are deployed, moving past simple tasks toward complex, agentic workflows.
Now, Thiel Macro, his hedge fund (a sort of collective consciousness dedicated to making more money, which, when you think about it, is a rather alarming concept), has done something… curious. It’s sold all its Nvidia stock. All of it. This is like deciding you no longer require oxygen, or the continued structural integrity of your planet. Nvidia, you see, has been on a bit of a tear. A parabolic tear, to be precise. (A parabola, for those unfamiliar with the geometry of success, is a curve that goes up, up, up… and then, eventually, doesn’t.) It’s become, effectively, the most valuable company in the world, which, as any economist will tell you, is almost always a sign that something is about to become terribly complicated.
The machination, Connived on that cold midnight as the stars shone indifferently upon Earth, bade the victim, much like our beloved Ranevskaya, to grant sanction to counterfeit dealings-a fate worse than that of Andrey, albeit minus matters of the heart. The hardware wallet, which safeguarded his esteem, became but an unwitting accessory to his undoing, all at the hands of psychological trickery.
Now, Advanced Micro Devices, or AMD as the grown-ups call it, is a bit of a scoundrel, really. It’s been nipping at the heels of the big cheese, Nvidia, for quite some time. Nvidia, you see, is a bit of a bully, hoarding all the best bits and pieces for its fancy graphics cards. But AMD is no slouch. It’s been busy brewing up something special in its laboratories – a whole heap of clever chips for something called ‘artificial intelligence.’ A bit of a mouthful, that one. It’s like teaching a machine to think, only without the messy bits of having a brain.
This series tells the story of Lucy and Stephen’s intense and complicated relationship over eight years, beginning when they’re in college. It shows how their decisions ripple outwards, affecting the lives of those around them, and explores the powerful and sometimes destructive nature of obsession and first love. You can start watching it on January 13, 2026.
In a dramatic twist no one saw coming (except everyone), Maartunn-CryptoQuant’s favorite on-chain Sherlock-posted on X about Bitcoin short-term holders (STHs) doing what they do best: reacting to price moves like they’re being chased by a bear in a financial horror movie. 🐻📉
Netflix, of course, has been everywhere. It’s the streaming pioneer, the disruptor, the reason I haven’t left the sofa in three days. Shares are up something ridiculous – 732% in the last decade, apparently. Which is… impressive. Though, let’s be honest, a lot of things were impressive in the last decade that turned out to be bubbles. I’m cautiously optimistic, but I’ve learned to distrust anything that sounds too good to be true. It’s a rule I break approximately every other Tuesday.
