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Not to be overshadowed (by either competence or existential dread), Internet Computer mustered 185 commits, while Arbitrum, clearly emboldened by the existential futility of it all, landed at 175. Hedera clocked in at 160—presumably because someone forgot to switch off their automated commit bot. Meanwhile, the familiar proletariat of Polkadot, Chainlink, and Tezos soldiered on, their progress steady, their hope eternal, and their coffee supplies running dangerously low.

O, trembling mortal! The Bollinger Bands — that fabled serpentine corset girdling Bitcoin’s volatile waist — now suggest a possible pirouette into the $110,000 ether and, in some feverish opium dream, even beyond. 

This shimmering proposal wants to slap a per-transaction gas cap on our dear crypto stage, lest some ruffian’s trade gobbles the whole block and strands us all at the digital bar. “Smaller sips, chaps!” is the gist. Those cheeky denial-of-service scoundrels will have to be creative elsewhere 🎩.

The list includes some of Russia’s biggest crypto miners, digital asset issuers, and payment intermediaries. These entities are suspected of moving vast sums of money to prop up Russia’s military and industrial sectors. It’s like they’re the financial equivalent of a secret underground railroad, but for digital assets. 🚂💻

Yet herein lies a delicious irony. Transparency, that sacred pillar of our new digital Eden, so instrumental in banishing intermediaries, also opens the doors to mischief, surveillance, entrepreneurial hackers, and, lest we forget, the odd kidnapper with a LinkedIn account. The blockchain giveth; the blockchain broadcasteth.

The consensus in the bitcoin 🌐 market remains bullish even though the price has held above $100,000 every day bar one for two months, with analysts’ projections for resistance levels ranging from $140,000 to over $200,000.