AI Stocks: The Galactic Gamble of Billionaires

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Imagine, if you will, a universe where the stock market behaves much like an eccentric relative at a family reunion-unpredictable, occasionally alarming, and prone to bursts of inexplicable brilliance. Into this cosmic chaos step two entities so vast, so influential, that they might as well be interstellar empires: Meta Platforms (META) and Amazon (AMZN). Over the past decade, their share prices have skyrocketed by 760% and 810%, respectively-a feat that would make even the most jaded space-faring hitchhiker raise an eyebrow.

Now, these companies are setting their sights on technologies so advanced, they could redefine what it means to be human-or at least what it means to shop online or scroll through social media. Artificial intelligence, augmented reality, robotics-all terms that sound suspiciously like plot devices from a sci-fi novel written by someone who didn’t quite understand how gravity works. Yet here we are, watching billionaires throw money at them as though they were vending machines dispensing immortality elixirs.

Here’s a closer look at which hedge fund titans decided to buy into this galactic gamble during the second quarter:

  • Chris Rokos at Rokos Capital Management, presumably after consulting some form of celestial oracle, purchased 227,100 shares of Meta Platforms, boosting his position by 90%. He also added 379,600 shares of Amazon, increasing his stake by 23%. Both now rank among his top five holdings (excluding options), which is either very clever or wildly optimistic depending on whether you trust astrology more than quarterly earnings reports.
  • Louis Bacon at Moore Capital Management took things up several notches by buying 57,200 shares of Meta Platforms, tripling his position by 210%. If that weren’t enough, he went all-in on Amazon, adding 444,100 shares and inflating his stake by a staggering 880%. Clearly, he believes in the power of shopping carts and holograms to shape the future, though one wonders if he’s considered the existential dread of having robots deliver packages while you’re still in your pajamas.
  • Karthik Sarma at SRS Investment Management made a slightly more restrained bet, purchasing 71,300 shares of Meta Platforms and nudging his position upward by 10%. It ranks as his third-largest holding, which suggests he has either a deep understanding of smart glasses or a fondness for Ray-Ban sunglasses catalogs.
  • Steven Cohen at Point72 Asset Management, meanwhile, seems to view Amazon as the ultimate cornerstone of his portfolio. He bought 1.6 million shares, raising his stake by 52%. It’s now his second-largest holding (again excluding options), which implies he either loves efficiency algorithms or simply enjoys ordering obscure gadgets late at night.

But why should mere mortals care about these gargantuan gambles? Let us venture forth into the peculiar worlds of Meta Platforms and Amazon, where the mundane meets the fantastical in ways that would baffle even the most seasoned Vogons.

Meta Platforms: Where Smart Glasses Meet Cosmic Ambitions

Meta Platforms owns three of the four most popular social media networks, measured by monthly active users-a statistic that feels less impressive when you consider how many people use those platforms to argue about cats versus dogs. Still, these platforms generate consumer data faster than a hyperdrive-equipped spaceship generates exhaust fumes, propelling Meta into the upper echelons of adtech companies, second only to Alphabet‘s Google.

However, CEO Mark Zuckerberg isn’t content with merely dominating digital advertising. No, he envisions a world where smartphones go the way of flip phones, replaced by smart glasses that overlay our reality with holographic screens. This prediction may seem as far-fetched as claiming tea is the secret ingredient behind quantum mechanics, but the nascent smart-glasses market is growing faster than anyone expected. Shipments tripled last year and are projected to expand by over 60% annually through 2029, according to Counterpoint Research.

Meta currently leads this charge, with its Ray-Ban smart glasses accounting for over 60% of total shipments in 2024. But the real intrigue lies ahead. Last year, Zuckerberg unveiled Orion, a pair of smart glasses that blend artificial intelligence with augmented reality (AR). These glasses won’t hit shelves anytime soon due to astronomical costs (pun intended), but when they do, they promise to revolutionize how we interact with the world. Imagine browsing the internet, streaming videos, and chatting face-to-face-all without ever touching a device. You can control Orion with eye movements, hand gestures, and a wrist-worn neural interface, making it feel less like technology and more like witchcraft.

(For context, think of it as trying to explain email to someone living in the Middle Ages. They’d probably assume you were possessed by demons.)

Despite the current valuation of 27 times earnings, Wall Street expects Meta’s earnings to grow at 17% annually over the next three years. In other words, the stock might be worth considering before everyone else realizes they need holograms to check the weather.

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Amazon: The Empire of Industrial Mobile Robots

If Meta Platforms represents humanity’s attempt to merge with machines, then Amazon embodies our desire to let machines do everything for us. Operating across multiple industries-including e-commerce, digital advertising, and cloud computing-the company leverages artificial intelligence to optimize nearly every aspect of its business. However, innovations in retail are particularly fascinating because, despite being the largest segment, it remains stubbornly unprofitable.

According to analysts at Morgan Stanley, shipping and fulfillment costs devour roughly 36% of Amazon’s retail revenue. To combat this financial black hole, Amazon is developing around a thousand generative AI applications designed to streamline operations-from optimizing product listings to predicting demand, managing inventory, and plotting delivery routes. It’s almost as if they’re building a self-aware spreadsheet capable of running an entire planet.

And let’s not forget the robots. More than a million autonomous machines roam Amazon’s warehouses, making them the largest operator of industrial mobile robots in existence. A recent AI model called DeepFleet helps these robots navigate fulfillment centers with unprecedented speed, while another project aims to enable humans to communicate with robots using natural language. Presumably, this involves teaching robots to ignore sarcastic remarks, though no one has confirmed this yet.

Perhaps most astonishingly, rumors suggest Amazon is testing humanoid robots for package delivery. Picture this: a robot riding shotgun in a Rivian electric van, hopping out to lug parcels to doorsteps like a metallic postman. Eventually, these robots might ride in self-driving cars developed by Amazon’s subsidiary Zoox, creating a dystopian ballet of automation that no one asked for but everyone will inevitably get used to.

(On a side note, if you’ve ever wondered what happens when capitalism collides head-on with science fiction, this is probably it.)

While most of these innovations will remain invisible to consumers-hidden away in warehouses and logistics hubs-they hold immense potential to boost profitability. Even at a somewhat lofty valuation of 35 times earnings, Amazon presents a compelling case for long-term investment. After all, who wouldn’t want a piece of the empire that’s quietly preparing to conquer both Earth and possibly Mars?

In conclusion, investing in Meta Platforms and Amazon requires faith-not necessarily in divine intervention, but in the idea that humanity’s relentless pursuit of convenience and efficiency won’t accidentally summon an army of sentient appliances bent on overthrowing us. Stranger things have happened. 🚀

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2025-08-28 10:29