So, they say technology stocks are the bee’s knees, eh? Led the market higher for a decade? Oy, I’ve seen trends come and go faster than a Borscht Belt comedian’s career. But this artificial intelligence…it’s got legs. Or, you know, algorithms. The next decade? Well, let’s just say I’ve got my suspenders ready, but my wallet’s still clutching its pearls. Here are three companies they’re touting. Three. As if picking stocks is as simple as choosing a pickle flavor. But, alright, alright, let’s take a look, shall we?
1. Nvidia: The King of…Something
Nvidia (NVDA +2.98%). Ah, Nvidia. They’re at the forefront of this AI boom, they say. The “infrastructure leader.” Sounds impressive, doesn’t it? Like they’re building the Roman Empire, one graphics card at a time. They’ve got this “moat” around their business. A moat! Like they’re protecting a castle full of…what exactly? Chips? Look, it starts with this CUDA software, which apparently is the secret sauce. All the fancy AI tools are written for it. Then there’s NVLink, which is like a super-fast highway for chips. They’re building a whole network of these things. It’s like a tiny, silicon city. And don’t forget the CPUs, DPUs…it’s alphabet soup in there. They can deliver a “turnkey AI supercomputer.” Turnkey! As if setting up an AI is like assembling IKEA furniture.
Everyone and their mother is rushing into this AI gold rush, and Nvidia is selling the shovels. Smart. Very smart. Data center spending is up, which means more money for Nvidia. They’re trading at a reasonable price, they say. 24.5 times earnings? Reasonable? Compared to what? A used kazoo? Still, it’s not a terrible deal. Just don’t expect miracles. And don’t come crying to me when the robots take over and demand all the gefilte fish.
2. Alphabet: A Vertical Integration Advantage (Or Is It?)
Alphabet (GOOGL +2.01%) (GOOG +1.93%). Now, these guys…they’ve got everything. The “most complete AI stack.” That’s what they say. Sounds like a Jenga tower waiting to collapse. They’ve invented their own chips – Tensor Processing Units. TPUs. Sounds like a disease. They use these chips to train this Gemini thing, which is apparently a super-smart AI. They’ve stuffed Gemini into Google Search. Because that needed more algorithms. And now they’re letting other companies use their TPUs. Generous of them. Like lending out your prized schnitzel recipe.
But wait, there’s more! They’ve got AI software, a fiber network, and now they’re buying cybersecurity and energy companies. Energy! Because AI runs on…electricity? Groundbreaking! This “vertical integration” is supposed to set them apart. It’s like building a fortress around your fortune. Trading at 25 times earnings? Reasonably priced, they say. Oy vey. The optimism of these analysts is truly astonishing. Still, they’re a big company. They’ll probably survive the apocalypse. Probably.
3. Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing: A Near Monopoly (Don’t We All Wish?)
Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing (TSM 0.32%). Now this is interesting. They make the chips. All the chips. GPUs, TPUs, the whole shebang. They’re a “virtual monopoly.” A monopoly! Like they’re the only delicatessen in town. They can make these advanced chips at scale with minimal defects. Apparently, that’s a big deal. Everyone needs their chips, so they’re in a strong position.
They’re ramping up production, building more factories. Because everyone wants more chips. They’ve got “pricing power,” which means they can charge whatever they want. They’re already planning to raise prices. Smart. Very smart. Increased prices and strong demand lead to robust margins. It’s a beautiful thing. They’re trading at 24 times earnings, with a PEG of 0.7. Attractively valued, they say. Look, it’s a good company. They make things. They make a lot of things. But don’t expect them to solve all your problems. And for goodness sake, don’t bet the farm on it.
So there you have it. Three AI stocks. Will they make you rich? Maybe. Will they bankrupt you? Possibly. The market is a fickle mistress. Remember, past performance is no guarantee of future results. And if you hear anyone promising you guaranteed returns, run the other way. And get yourself a good bagel. You’ll need it.
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2026-01-22 05:33