AI Hype: It’s Just Annoying, Okay?

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Look, every few decades we get one of these things. Railroads, the internet… now it’s artificial intelligence. Everyone’s running around like it’s a revelation. It’s just… irritating. Like when the grocery store redesigns the layout and you can’t find the pickles. You know they had a perfectly good system. And now this. Everyone’s talking about “bubbles” and “inflection points.” Can we just call it what it is? A lot of money chasing a thing that may or may not actually do anything useful.

The S&P 500 is hitting highs, sure. But that doesn’t mean this AI stuff is any different. It just means people are easily distracted. They see a shiny new toy and suddenly forget all the basic principles of investing. It’s like they’ve never seen a pump-and-dump before. Honestly, it’s insulting.

Who’s Actually Using This Stuff?

They say 800 million people are using OpenAI’s models weekly. 800 million! That’s… a lot. But what are they doing with it? Probably asking it to write their emails. Or generate cat pictures. Meanwhile, 41% of American workers claim they’re using AI. That number feels… generous. I bet half of them used it once to summarize a memo and then went back to doing things the old-fashioned way. It’s the principle of the thing! You try a new coffee shop, it’s okay, but you go back to your regular place. It’s comfortable!

Apparently, 37.5% of companies in the information sector are actively using AI. Fine. But I guarantee you they’re mostly using it for marketing buzzwords. “Leveraging AI-driven synergies to optimize core competencies.” It’s all just noise. They’re trying to sound important, and it’s making my head hurt.

The average worker spends 5.7% of their time with AI. 5.7%! That’s like… 20 minutes a day. They’re telling me this is a “transformation”? I spend more time looking for a decent parking spot. And that’s genuinely frustrating.

The Bull Case: Or, Why People Are Delusional

The bulls are saying capital expenditures are accelerating. Meta, Microsoft, Alphabet, and Amazon are throwing money at this thing. Okay, fine. They have a lot of money. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. I could throw a million dollars at a statue of myself, but it wouldn’t make it a masterpiece. It would just be… a very expensive mistake.

They say these companies are profitable, unlike Pets.com. That’s a low bar. Being less disastrous than Pets.com doesn’t make you a good investment. It just means you’re not actively losing money. It’s like saying, “Well, at least I didn’t set my house on fire today.” It’s not exactly a triumph.

And this “agentic AI” – systems that can autonomously execute tasks? Sounds terrifying. I don’t want a computer making decisions for me. I barely trust myself to choose a restaurant. And now they want to hand over control to a machine? It’s a recipe for disaster. It’s just… irresponsible.

The Bear Case: The Inevitable Crash

Here’s the thing: stocks are trading at crazy multiples. The cyclically adjusted price-to-earnings ratio is through the roof. It’s higher than it was at the dot-com peak. And that’s saying something. It’s like everyone’s forgotten the lessons of history. They’re doomed to repeat them. It’s infuriatingly predictable.

And the revenue? It’s circular. Companies are selling to other companies. Very little is coming from actual users. That’s a problem. It’s like a pyramid scheme. It only works as long as there are new people to bring in. Eventually, it collapses. It’s just… unsustainable.

The Hidden Risk: Debt. Always Debt.

Debt. That’s the real killer. Everyone forgets about debt. These AI data centers are built on leverage. Companies like CoreWeave are borrowing money hand over fist. They’re betting that AI demand will keep growing. That’s a risky bet. It’s like betting your life savings on a horse race. It’s reckless.

Cheap money hides a lot of problems. But when rates go up, or lending tightens, everything falls apart. Sticky inflation, a sluggish labor market, geopolitical tensions… any of these things could trigger a crisis. And when it happens, it’s going to be messy. It’s going to be… unpleasant.

The Bottom Line

These investments need to generate real returns. And I don’t see it happening. Investors are starting to get nervous. They’re realizing that the return on investment isn’t going to materialize. It’s like buying a timeshare. You think it’s a good idea at first, but then you realize you’re stuck with it forever.

Adoption rates are impressive, sure. But the actual value delivered remains unclear. A Bank of England survey found that nine out of ten senior managers said their AI initiatives had no measurable impact on productivity. Nine out of ten! That’s… staggering. It’s like spending a fortune on a self-cleaning oven that doesn’t clean itself.

What Should Investors Do?

I think we’re closer to a major correction than we are to the early innings. I think things could change materially within the next year or so. It’s going to be… disruptive.

But I’m not a fortune teller. I can’t predict the future. I’m not saying you should sell everything in a panic. That’s not the answer. Staying invested for the long term is usually the winning formula. But use this moment as a stress test.

Take a hard look at your portfolio. Do you believe in these companies? Can they survive a major drawdown? Will they thrive on the other side? Because if they can’t, you’re going to be very, very annoyed.

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2026-03-08 20:02