A Tiny Spark in the Robotic Twilight

Serve Robotics (SERV) is a name you won’t remember in six months. They build sidewalk-roaming delivery robots, which is either the future or a punchline depending on how many investment bankers you’ve had for breakfast. Formerly Uber’s robotics lab, they’re now independent-like a toddler let loose in a demolition derby.

Big names like Nvidia and Uber still hold their leash. The pitch? Companies want automation because humans keep demanding things like “breaks” and “paychecks.” So it goes.

There are 1,000 Serve robots stumbling through Los Angeles, Dallas, Miami, Chicago, and Atlanta. They’ve completed 100,000 deliveries for 2,500 restaurants via Uber Eats. Now they’re dating DoorDash. First base is Los Angeles. The wedding’s in 2025.

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Wall Street’s Michael Latimore says the stock will hit $23-a 40% leap from its $16.45 close. He’s maintained this rating since January, which is either confidence or a spreadsheet error. So it goes.

More metal, more problems

The last-mile delivery market will double by 2030, says Grand View Research. Serve plans to deploy 2,000 robots by 2025. Their Q2 fleet: 400. Their goal: a robo-army that learns from every pothole and sidewalk tantrum. The data collected will make robots smarter, or at least less likely to marry your cat. Economies of scale are promised. So are tax breaks for skynet.

Friends beyond Uber

Uber Eats once ate 80% of their revenue. Now they’ve added Little Caesars and Shake Shack. DoorDash pilots in Qatar. International expansion? They’re testing the waters in the Middle East, where sandstorms and royalty checks await. More clients mean fewer tears when Uber inevitably texts, “We need to talk.”

Reliability, briefly

Q2 saw 78% more deliveries. Success rate: 99.8%. Robots worked 10.8 hours daily, up 20%. Human intervention dropped 25%. Still, fixing a robot’s tire is cheaper than fixing a divorce. So it goes.

Paper and promises

Revenue rose 37% to $641k. Cash reserves: $183 million post-$100 million stock sale. Not profitable. Not shocking. Growth companies burn money like teenagers with matches. Analysts predict revenue will explode to $71.4 million by 2027. This requires faith in robotics, capitalism, or whichever god tolerates PowerPoint presentations.

Price tag

Stock trades at 430x sales. Expensive? Yes. Rational? Only if you think 2027’s profits will retroactively justify today’s bets. So it goes.

Latimore’s $23 target might materialize. Or not. Serve’s a gamble for those who enjoy volatility like a morning coffee. The robots will keep rolling. Some will fail. Others will deliver sushi. All will remind us that the future is just the present with better batteries. 🤖

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2025-10-15 21:41