Pray lend thine ears, fair audience, to the proclamations of Monsieur Mike Novogratz, Seigneur of les Galaxies Digitales! The man, bedecked in excess, foretells a day when le Bitcoin, that mysterious digital croissant, will ascend to the celestial sum of one million dollars. Yes, you heard right! Not a centime less! 🍷💰
Wrapped in the satin robes of modern finance upon le Schwab Network, Monsieur Novogratz declares with the flourish of a man twirling his moustache, “Bitcoin shall grow by eight hundred and fifty percent!” By what sorcery, you ask? Two grand catalysts, messieurs and mesdames! Two, and not a truffle more:
“Firstly,” quoth he, “adoption! Lo, every man, woman, and their pet poodle will soon be ‘orange-pilled’—no, not by Dr. Pangloss, but by clever financiers and their dazzling PowerPoints. Why, even our old friend Larry Fink has been seduced to the orange side. BlackRock! Invesco! Soon, the entirety of Wall Street will be marching to the Bitcoin minuet.” 🎩💃
“Secondly, let us not forget the grand tradition of government—spending coin as if it were confetti at a mardi gras.” Oh, how the state’s purse does lighten! And lo, as the value of the noble dollar droops like an overcooked soufflé, Bitcoin becomes ever the more tempting to young and old alike.
Our visionary Mike expounds further, suggesting the jeunesse dorée would sooner embrace this digital chimera over dour old gold—after all, who wants a chunk of metal when you can have numbers on a magic screen?💡📱 Let us not mourn the likes of Buffett and Munger, those relics! Their progeny, no doubt with pockets full of inheritance, shall eschew bullion and flock to Bitcoin like moths to the crypto-flame.
“When the boomers, God bless their gouty feet, finally hand down their treasures, the youth will invest not in gold, but in our digital marvel. The times, they are a-changin’, and Bitcoin is the fiddler at the feast!”
In closing, Monsieur Novogratz likens Bitcoin to gold or silver, being now a most institutionalised trinket. As of this moment, our hero observes Bitcoin trading at $105,270—a minor dip of 2.3%. Alas, not every theatrical act is without a little stumble!
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2025-06-18 12:22