Somewhere in a dimly lit office, pro-XRP lawyer John Deaton twirls his legal mustache and ponders why Judge Analisa Torres won’t just drop the Ripple vs. SEC case, despite Donald Trump’s new status as the unofficial Godfather of Crypto. It’s all so “America 2024.” One might imagine Ripple execs binge-watching Law & Order marathons, hoping for a miracle—or at least a commercial break with fewer side effects listed at the end.
Deaton’s take is that, as the rest of the country is laser-eyeing itself into blockchain glory and preparing to swap their grandkids’ college funds for Dogecoin, Ripple is still getting the legal equivalent of the silent treatment. The SEC, heroically sticking to its guns like the world’s least fun chaperone, says Ripple sold XRP as an unregistered security. Sure, Ripple celebrated a lukewarm win last year—if you call “partial victory” a win—but the judge still has her thumb hovering over the eject button, just in case.
Naturally, Ripple would love to be done with this—mainly because “under investigation” isn’t the sort of badge that helps you make friends in the banking world. Big names are choosing Circle over Ripple, which is a bit like being passed up for prom by the kid who brings his mom as his date.
What’s the Hold Up? 🤔
According to Deaton’s legal weather report, there’s a 70% chance Judge Torres folds and lets Ripple out with a smaller fine: think $50 million instead of the SEC’s dream of $125 million. That still buys a lot of lawyer brunches. The catch? Judges aren’t famous for their sense of whimsy. They’re more the “by the book” type, and asking one to tweak its own decisions is like emailing your landlord for a rent reduction because your cactus died.
The other fun factor: politics. Deaton warns if the political pendulum swings back to anti-crypto folks (imagine Elizabeth Warren with a magnifying glass over your Metamask), things could go from mildly irritating to full-on “my portfolio is just Pokémon cards now.”
Why Deaton’s Disappointed in Ripple’s Lawyers 😒
Deaton admits he wanted more fireworks. He pictured Ripple’s lawyers pounding the table, reminding Judge Torres about the 75,000 XRP superfans who wrote letters (or at least a few haikus). Instead, the lawyers played it safe—probably drinking decaf in the war room when Deaton wanted espresso fueled outrage.
Even CEO Brad Garlinghouse admits he’s a pinch anxious, though his lawyers’ mantra is, apparently, “Don’t worry, be happy.” If there’s an investor motivational playlist, this would not make the cut.
Bracing for Impact 🚀😬
So, Deaton predicts Judge Torres will eventually give Ripple the “get out of court free” card, mostly so she doesn’t have to read stacks of appeals every weekend. But he also shrugs and admits nobody really knows. Ripple’s confident… but as we’ve seen, optimism is not a legal strategy. Maybe next time, they’ll bring snacks.
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2025-06-16 11:16