Back in the days that have already gone brown around the edges, there was Strategy (which, like an old sheepdog, once answered to “MicroStrategy”). Their specialty wasn’t wheat or steel or hog bellies—it was buying heaps of Bitcoin with borrowed money, stacking Satoshis higher than the debt ceiling, and hoping the sheriff wouldn’t notice. For a long while, they were the only ones mad or bold enough to pull that little trick. Now, it seems, every boardroom cowboy wants to ride the same bronco.
As more sharp suits plunge into the wild ride of Bitcoin, scuffed voices from every corner start muttering about crypto centralization. The facts: just 216 entities (and, in a world so topsy-turvy, 101 of them are public companies) clutch nearly 31% of the world’s aboveboard BTC. Corporate treasuries alone hog 765,300 Bitcoins—about 3.7%—which is enough to make anyone with two coins of their own start to sweat. Lost coins? Don’t count those, they’re already on the digital prairie chasing tumbleweeds.
This train of buying isn’t slowing down (someone cut the brakes, apparently). The Bitcoin pile-up grows, inviting much yapping about whether this is good or bad for the rest of us, stuck on the outside looking in and wishing we’d kept that hard drive from 2012.
The Trend: A Good Old Gold Rush (Only Digital, and With Fewer Pickup Trucks)
It’s become a sort of Silicon Valley square dance, each CEO prancing onto X (as Twitter now likes to be called) to holler about their brand-new Bitcoin stash. Jack Mallers sprouted up with 21 Capital, David Bailey with something patriotically dubbed “Nakamoto,” and Anthony Pompliano is lassoing $750 million to bring in more cryptocoins—all in the spirit of, well, getting richer and maybe tweeting about it.
Every time another treasury pops up, the Twitterati ride in on digital horseback, tossing out bull emojis and exclamation points like confetti at a small-town parade. If you knock on their door, they’ll probably hand you a pamphlet: “This is NOT priced in”—despite everyone by now knowing darn well it probably is. All the same, the confusion remains: if buying is so good, why does the price keep looking more fatigued than a miner after a double shift?
FACT: ¥3.9 TRILLION SOFTBANK IS INVESTING BILLIONS IN A COMPANY THAT WANTS TO BUY MORE #BITCOIN THAN MICROSTRATEGY
THIS IS NOT PRICED IN 🔥
— The Bitcoin Historian (@pete_rizzo_) May 7, 2025
Do Bitcoin Treasuries Actually Make BTC Pump? Or Are We Just Spinning Wheels?
According to Gemini’s wise folk, institutional buyers coming on board calmed the Bitcoin bronco after 2018. Eurekas all around! The wild ups and downs mellowed into a dull canter—though coins still gather dust in more vaults than my uncle’s unused fishing tackle.
Once the ETFs crashed the party in 2024, things steadied out even more. The price keeps rising, but now it’s as slow and deliberate as that second cup of coffee. Unchained—a name that should inspire trust or at least an image of dramatic bolt cutters—says the price is holding between $100k and $110k, and it’ll probably be a few more rodeo seasons before it lassos $130k. Weirdly enough, regular folks only pay attention when Bitcoin’s blasting to new highs, but otherwise are more interested in buying lottery tickets and complaining about the weather.
There’s also the dirty little secret: treasuries not only buy, but sometimes have to sell—because even Bitcoiners need cash for snacks and stock buybacks. The headline number is shouted from the rooftops, but in the backroom, it takes months for those millions to actually show up. Meanwhile, coins stack up in vaults and do, well, nothing—like a scarecrow that doesn’t even scare crows anymore. 🤷♂️
This relentless stacking pulls Bitcoin off the field, making it increasingly less useful as “electronic cash” and more like expensive digital wallpaper. Some folks aren’t impressed, and the grumbling in the forums is getting louder.
This mass accumulation of Bitcoin by corporates & ETFs is getting very close to Satoshi’s original vision of us never having to actually use the Bitcoin network.
— Nic (@nicrypto) June 12, 2025
“Not Your Keys, Not Your Coins” – Still True, Still Annoying at Parties
The old-timers and maximalists wag their fingers and remind us: “Don’t let some suit hold your Bitcoin for you.” Bitcoin, after all, is supposed to belong to the people, not just to the guys who wore out their calculators and didn’t delete their browser history.
Some are quick to point out the questionable past of the treasuries’ ringleaders. Take MicroStrategy, who, back in dot-com bubble days, started restating profits until the SEC came knocking with fraud accusations. Saylor, their chief, once said he’d donate $100 million to give everyone free internet college (spoiler: I’m still waiting on my diploma). Now, he sure does love giving speeches about Bitcoin, but somehow keeps both feet on the ground whenever real money’s involved.
What Magoo really means, is that bitcoin treasury companies need a professional Orange Washer
An influencer already trusted by the plebs, who can toe the line between LARP’ing as a maxi, and shilling his stock as being superior to real BTC
Aka, the used car salesman type
— Pledditor (@Pledditor) June 11, 2025
Pompliano—a polarizing evangelist if there ever was one—now sits atop another shiny new treasury. Some clap for him, but others remember him pitching the FTX and BlockFi clown cars (spoiler: they exploded, and investors are still picking coins out of their hair).
So true. For example, I lost most of my savings after listening to your podcast and putting it into BlockFi. Completely changed my life!
— GSx (@Wade24T) November 28, 2022
There’s also a breed of folks who peek at the profit chart for treasury companies and ETFs, then dump their Bitcoin for what they think will be faster profits on Wall Street. Adam Back, whose name is in the hallowed Bitcoin whitepaper, warned that if you sell your coins for ETFs, you might have trouble buying them back next year when the price is up and you’ve already spent your gains on avocado toast. 🥑💸
some are selling their btc to ETFs and pubCos. dudes: HODL. you won’t be able to buy them back before long. but also other users are buying, this is the way.
— Adam Back (@adam3us) June 12, 2025
So, What’s Actually Good About These Bitcoin Treasuries? (Besides Exciting Boardroom Meetings)
Adam Back himself concedes: Bitcoin treasuries are basically mugging the future to pay for today’s Bitcoin. Their logic: public companies have the cash, the lawyers, and the tolerance for high-powered conference calls—so they might as well buy the coins for themselves and pay for them with shares and promises (classic corporate move). To quote him in a moment of lucidity, it’s an “arbitrage between the fiat current [system] and the hyper-bitcoinized future.”
$MSTR & $BTC Treasuries by @adam3us:
“They are basically an arbitrage between the fiat current [system] and the hyper-bitcoinezed future. And if you can buy #Bitcoin today and pay for it in 5 years or convert into equity you are bringing forward the Bitcoin adoption curve..”— Marco ₿attistoni (@Battistoshi93) June 2, 2025
Most people can’t roll out of bed and buy a whole Bitcoin (unless they also invented Facebook)—but companies can, by bruiting around stock and equity offerings and generally sounding more impressive at shareholder meetings. They don’t need a winning lottery ticket, just more paper to sell. And let’s be honest, for the big investor outfits, dealing with a corporate Bitcoin ETF is about a thousand times easier than fussing with wallets or guessing if SEC is going to pack up the whole industry by Tuesday.
In short, the Bitcoin treasuries are managing to bring your grandpa’s retirement fund into the future, all while keeping him blissfully unaware what a seed phrase even is. TradFi meets ChadFi: the improbable friendship forged by a mutual love of profit, paperwork, and not accidentally losing your coins. 🚀
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2025-06-15 23:05