There’s a certain thrill in knowing that creatures called “crypto whales” (which I picture as actual whales in Armani suits, spouting inflatable Japanese yen) are quietly shoving millions of dollars into Shiba Inu coins, a rival to Dogecoin. It’s the sort of news that makes me want to both check my bank balance and then immediately lie down.
According to Santiment—a name that sounds like a breakfast cereal for Wall Street interns with iron deficiencies—when rich people start lobbing $100,000 or more into a digital asset, things get jolly exciting. Back in 2017, just as I was learning to invest in artisanal nuts instead of Bitcoin, the whales got frisky with their wallets and Bitcoin spiked to $20,000, right before taking a nosedive which, I’m told, can only be described as “character building.”
“History has shown that seismic upticks in $100,000 whale transactions often come just before prices peak…” This is financial-speak for, “The roller coaster is climbing—brace yourself for the barbecue sauce stain you’ll acquire on the way down.”
But it’s not all tragedy and existential dread. Sometimes whales aren’t just dumping coins—they’re scooping them up like Costco hot dogs on a Saturday. When Bitcoin dropped 45% in May 2021, and every retail trader was Googling “should I return my Lamborghini,” whales were lining up for the clearance rack, apparently confident that nothing bad has ever happened after someone said, “It’s only down 45%, let’s double down!” 🚀
Fast forward to SHIB, the market’s favorite canine-themed distraction from adulthood. While it sits somewhere behind Dogecoin, quietly eating its feelings, SHIB just enjoyed a wild uptick: 527 whale-size transactions in one day, the most excitement this coin has seen in five months. Imagine that many people suddenly showing up at your garage sale, all wearing monocles and velvet capes. That’s the level of drama we’re talking about.
“Since this time, the coin’s market value has grown by 10%. Based on what we know about sudden spikes in whale activity as prices are falling, this could be a good sign that it’s just the beginning of a further price rally.” Wouldn’t that be lovely? If only my IRA had the same resilience as meme coins fueled by cartoon dogs and internet whimsy.
Meanwhile, SHIB is at $0.000012, which is four significant digits away from me ever mentioning it to my parents. Down 5.5% on the day, up 100% in conversation potential at the next family dinner.
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2025-06-13 23:02