Banker Blunders and Buffett’s Big Bucks: The Latest from the Financial Circus

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Banker Blunders and Buffett’s Big Bucks: The Latest from the Financial Circus

Billionaire Warren Buffett with a piggy bank

In the delightfully unpredictable world of high finance—think of it as the Discworld’s version of a particularly chaotic carnival—an analyst at UBS (which sounds suspiciously like a fancy abbreviation for “Unbelievably Baffling Swindles”) decided to lower the magical number they believe Berkshire Hathaway is worth. Yes, dear reader, even venerable giants like Warren Buffett aren’t immune to the whims of market mambo jumbo.

Analyst Brian Meredith, who clearly has a flair for the dramatic, still sees the shares as a good buy—like buying a slightly leaky boat that might still get you across the river—though he’s shrunk the price target from a lofty $606 to a slightly more grounded $591 per share. CNBC reports—because what would finance be without distracting numbers?

His note of wisdom notes that the decline is due to less investment income and a curious absence of stock buybacks this year and next. Apparently, in Buffett-land, the money trees have become rather sparse, and the ‘buy and burn’ strategy is on indefinite hold. “We continue to believe BRK’s shares are attractive in an uncertain macro environment,” he says, sounding like a used car salesman describing an allegedly reliable vehicle filled with mystery fluids.

Meanwhile, Warren—whose net worth rivals small countries—has stashed a staggering $305.5 billion (yes, with a ‘b’) into short-term Treasuries. That’s enough to make even the most hardened banker consider a new career in extreme couponing. Berkshire’s stash in these safe-haven assets has swelled from $286.472 billion to $305.501 billion—an increase that would make even the most stoic accountant cry tears of joy or despair, depending on their mood.

In fact, Berkshire’s massive US debt holdings now outstrip Taiwan’s, which is quite like beating a tiny island in a game of ‘Who has more money?’—a game that’s surprisingly popular among global superyachts.

However, not all is quiet and serene in Buffett-land. The company has been quietly slashing its stakes in banks such as Citigroup, Bank of America, and Capital One—like cutting the brakes on a speeding train. The most dramatic move: fully exiting Citigroup after dumping it for an eye-watering $1 billion. Presumably, Buffett concluded that maybe, just maybe, Wall Street’s latest gambles are a tad too risky even for him.

They also sold 48.7 million Bank of America shares (that’s enough to make a small country’s GDP), worth about $2.19 billion, and cashed out 300,000 Capital One shares, roughly valued at $46.5 million—because even billionaires need to pay the electric bill now and then.

As of now, Berkshire Hathaway’s Class B stock sashays along at $493, but clearly, nobody knows if that number is destined for glory or the scrapyard.

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2025-06-07 15:01