Europe’s New Law Could Ban Bitcoin Forever—Brace Yourselves! 🚨

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Europe’s New Law Could Ban Bitcoin Forever—Brace Yourselves! 🚨

If you thought owning a shiny Bitcoin was as simple as a click, think again. Alexandre Stachtchenko, a chap with a fancy title at Paymium, dropped a bombshell: if Europe’s new guidelines on personal data and blockchain get the green light, Bitcoin might become illegal in the Old Continent. Yes, really.

EDPB Guidelines Might Make Bitcoin Illegal in Europe

In a move that could only be described as “European elegance,” the European Data Protection Board (EDPB) is considering rules that, frankly, sound a bit like they wandered in from a sci-fi movie. They suggest that your public key—yes, that string of random characters you use to send and receive cryptocurrency—could be considered personal data. Imagine that! Your Bitcoin’s address might be deemed a spyware-ready piece of private info… and just like that, the whole idea of anonymous digital gold could be in jeopardy.

Stachtchenko explains that the draft of these guidelines assumes that a public key might be considered personal data, which can be deleted if certain obscure conditions are met. But here’s the rub: on-chain data is as permanent as your visit to that mysterious all-night kebab shop at 3 a.m. It cannot be easily erased or modified due to technical reasons—kind of like trying to erase a tattoo you got in a drunken stupor.

The EDPB, in its infinite wisdom, asserts that “data protection principles are non-negotiable.” Funny, because on the ground, deleting data from a blockchain is about as feasible as convincing a cat to take a bath. They say that if you can’t delete specific data, you might just need to delete the whole blockchain. Yes, delete the entire chain just because someone wanted their private data—pure European logic. 🎩

Particularly charming is their stance that “technical impossibility cannot be used as an excuse” for GDPR compliance. In other words, reality check: the EU expects your data to disappear, whether it wants to or not. Stachtchenko responds, somewhat sarcastically, that this is classic EU behavior: insisting that reality must bend to their rules, no matter how impractical or absurd.

Bitcoin somehwere in Europe

Adding to the drama, the guidelines state that “where this would require deleting part of the blockchain, including copies stored by nodes, controllers must ensure measures are in place to do so.” Wonderful. The simplicity of a fast transaction now comes with the risk of global digital amnesia—good luck deleting your data from every node across the continent!

Stachtchenko isn’t about to accept this with a shrug, arguing that anonymization doesn’t solve the problem. Why? Because these transactions are often classified as high risk, or outright criminal, in the eyes of regulators. So unless you fancy a European-style digital version of the Inquisition, better keep that Bitcoin covered.

In closing, he warns that, due to these conflicting regulations, Bitcoin’s legal status in Europe could be in the weeds. If you’re feeling extra anxious, now’s the time to chime in and give feedback before the public consultation closes on June 9. Because who wouldn’t want their financial future dictated by bureaucrats with a flair for the dramatic? 🚀

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2025-06-05 11:57