Sorry, Recession Is Coming: Fed Warns of Economic Doom & Consumers Playing It Safe

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So, the head honcho of Minneapolis Fed – Neel Kashkari – drops the bad news like it’s hot: “Hey, folks, we’re inches away from a recession.” Cheers! 🥂

In a riveting chat with CNBC, Kashkari’s been chatting with businesses big and small—turns out everyone’s more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

“The majority of folks are sitting there, twiddling their thumbs, saying, ‘Should I invest? Should I not? Tell me where those tariffs land, then I might… maybe… think about making moves.’”

Apparently, everyone’s on ‘pause,’ waiting for a tariff resolution that’s as elusive as Bigfoot. So, naturally, businesses and consumers are basically playing hide and seek with the economy. When everyone’s hiding, the economy’s probably *not* playing nice. Recession? Maybe. Or just a really long coffee break.” ☕️

Meanwhile, fellow Fed Prez Austan Goolsbee whispers about stagflation — that charming combo of no growth, crazy inflation, and unemployment sneaking up behind you. Just what we needed, right?

If the Fed ends up battling both stubborn inflation and a sagging economy, Kashkari says: “Let’s focus on… inflation. Because who needs growth when you can have prices climbing faster than a squirrel on an espresso shot?” 🐿️☕️

“Inflation’s been running hot for four years now — like your neighbor’s lawn in July. I’m nervous that expectations might go off the rails, and then we’re all just dancing to inflation’s tune, which isn’t exactly a happy song.”

So, yeah. Protect the 2% target, or panic in the streets. Your call, America.” 🇺🇸

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yc4x3HjrPY[/embed>

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2025-05-28 20:01