Wall Street Just Bet $1.4 Billion on Bitcoin. Are Shiba Inu Holders About to Panic?

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If you ever want to see your parents panic, say the word “cryptocurrency” at Thanksgiving. Suddenly, everyone needs a lawyer. Anyway, here’s what’s been jangling the pockets of the financially daring this weekend, as recounted by the astute (read: insomniac) crew at U.Today.

Goldman Sachs: Now Playing With Monopoly Money (aka Bitcoin)

Per a juicy SEC filing (which is just a really long PDF that says, “Look how rich and brave we are”), our friends at Goldman Sachs have loaded up on BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust (IBIT) with a cartoonish 30.8 million shares—worth $1.4 billion, which, in American dollars, is approximately the GDP of three small European nations or one used Tesla in Brooklyn. This 28% increase basically means that next time you say, “Nobody believes in Bitcoin,” you should look at your phone bill and cry.

By the end of 2024, Goldman is flopping a wallet packed with $2.05 billion in crypto ETFs—$1.3 billion in BlackRock’s ETF and $300 million in Fidelity’s. Sorry, Fidelity, you’re not the favorite child. All told, that’s a 50% bump over last quarter, when they only risked $720 million. I remember when I risked $7 on sushi in Penn Station and called myself a rebel.

This Just In: Shiba Inu About to Experience What Therapists Call “A Moment”

Shiba Inu (the coin, not your neighbor’s caffeinated dog) is standing at a critical price ledge, peeking over, presumably with slightly oversized eyes. According to IntoTheBlock, 516 trillion SHIB (not a typo, that’s almost enough to buy a dinner in San Francisco) are held by 116,000 addresses, right in that golden slot between $0.000016 and $0.000019. SHIB is sitting at $0.00001619—which probably feels like a really expensive decision if you’re the one who bought at the top.

If it breaks that resistance, buyers could swoop in, presumably yelling “to the moon” so much their families hold interventions. On the other hand, if SHIB faceplants, expect a chain reaction of panic-selling memes so dramatic it’ll make GameStop look like bingo night at a retirement home. Either way, 516 trillion… What could possibly go wrong? 🐕💸

XRP: Chart Cross Drama, $50 Million for the SEC, and Probably a Netflix Deal

XRP is marching toward a big technical moment, teetering between a golden cross (a nice way to say “things might be okay!”) and a death cross (so much for that vacation). This is what happens when the 50-day and 200-day Simple Moving Averages play “will they, won’t they,” which analysts watch the way I watch British dating shows: slightly confused but deeply invested.

Last time XRP got a golden cross—November 2024—the price went on a victory lap. Right now, she’s at $2.56, up nearly 9% in a day, which sounds great unless you bought with your student loans. If XRP keeps strutting, $2.60 and maybe even $3 are in sight.

Meanwhile, Ripple and the SEC have split up their lunch money: $50 million for the SEC (probably spent on ergonomic chairs) and over $75 million back to Ripple, who promised to “just buy snacks, not do anything weird.”

In crypto, nothing says “safe investment” like something called a death cross. Happy trading! 🧐🚀

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2025-05-12 21:30