Bitcoin’s Back, Baby!

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So, crypto and blockchain venture capital is back, huh? I mean, who wouldn’t want to throw their money at a bunch of startups that may or may not make it? 🤑 In the second quarter, they raised a combined $10 billion. That’s a lot of cash! 💸

But, you know who’s really bullish on Bitcoin? Ego Death Capital. They just announced a new $100 million fund dedicated to investing in early-stage Bitcoin companies. Because, you know, Bitcoin is the future… or so they say. 🤔

Meanwhile, Robinhood is trying to tokenize everything. I mean, who needs actual ownership when you can have a token, right? 🤷‍♂️ European regulators are scrutinizing their “private equity tokens,” but Robinhood’s CEO is all like, “Hey, it’s not actually equity, it’s just… uh… exposure.” 😂

This week’s Crypto Biz is all about Bitcoin-focused venture capital, Robinhood’s tokenization ambitions, and some other stuff. So, let’s dive in! 📊

Ego Death Capital: All in on Bitcoin

So, Ego Death Capital has raised $100 million to invest in Bitcoin startups. Because, you know, Bitcoin is the only decentralized and secure base to build on… or so they claim. 🤔 They’ve already invested in some Bitcoin-focused companies, and now they’re looking for more. Good luck with that! 🤑

Robinhood’s Tokenization Push: Regulators Have Questions

Robinhood’s stock is surging thanks to their tokenization push. But, European regulators are all like, “Uh, what’s going on here?” 🤔 They’re scrutinizing Robinhood’s “private equity tokens,” especially the ones linked to OpenAI and SpaceX. Because, you know, those companies are super valuable… or so they say. 🤑

Robinhood’s CEO is trying to explain it all away, but it’s just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. 🤷‍♂️ “It’s not actually equity, it’s just… uh… exposure.” Yeah, sure, buddy! 😂

CoreWeave Acquires Core Scientific: Because Who Needs Crypto?

CoreWeave just acquired Core Scientific in an all-stock deal valued at $9 billion. But, 💸

CZ Calls Out TON‘s UAE Golden Visa Announcement: “Is This Real?”

So, The Open Network (TON) announced a new immigration program in the UAE that would grant users a 10-year Golden Visa if they stake $100,000 worth of TON coins and pay a $35,000 processing fee. But, CZ was all like, “Uh, is this real?” 🤔

And, guess what? It wasn’t! 😂 UAE regulators denied reports that Golden Visas are available through digital asset activities. Good job, CZ! 👏

Crypto Biz: Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Crypto Story? 🤣

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2025-07-11 23:21