Picture it—a New York morning fog slithers between glass towers, and in the midst of this abyss, VanEck, ever the conjurer, submits parchment (well, fine, an SEC application) for a Spot BNB ETF. The salons of finance, already abuzz with rumors and roubles, now hiss with something approaching optimism, or at least, mild caffeine jitters. 🥸
Will the illustrious sorcerers at the SEC, those mysterious custodians of all that is permitted and forbidden, give a sly nod to this bold play? Unclear, friends, quite unclear—much like deciphering what breed of furball Behemoth the cat truly is. The shadowy CZ (Changpeng Zhao, not to be confused with Ilf or Petrov), in a gathering thick with the odor of self-importance, mused aloud: while the age of Bitcoin ETF is upon us, altcoins may yet find their hour in the limelight, provided the spotlight isn’t repossessed by the janitor first. 🕯️
The First BNB ETF: A Ballad of Statutory Trusts
If the pursuit of a Bitcoin ETF was a somber waltz through bureaucratic hell, now we find ourselves in a raucous tavern: over seventy ETF filings crowd the room, each more boisterous than the last, and all convinced they’ll leave with the prize goose. Unlike Pontius Pilate, this time the market actually seems hopeful something decent will come out of the spectacle.
The mysterious CZ, without so much as a top hat flourish, announced VanEck’s filing in the style of an old Muscovite street vendor:
VanEck just filed for a spot BNB ETF.
— CZ BNB (@cz_binance) May 5, 2025
VanEck, who apparently has a closet full of Delaware statutory trusts, registered a new one for BNB only a month ago (routine, apparently, like trimming your cat’s whiskers). Their previous attempt for an AVAX ETF managed not to set Wall Street aflame, but who knows? Maybe BNB—with its ample girth in the cryptosphere—has the charm.
Americans discussing a BNB ETF is almost as shocking as seeing the Master treating Margarita to afternoon tea. It’s worth recalling that only yesterday, US exchanges were casting BNB out like a bad spirit, thanks to Binance’s lively relationship with the law. Now BNB is like a prodigal son: Kraken, that reputable cephalopod, is letting it back on stage.
The coin’s price, like Ivan Bezdomny in a fever dream, was on the rise before the breaking news ever hit. Coincidence? Or market magic? 💸🥒
Eric Balchunas (whose hobby is ETF augury) whispered that both CZ and Jan Van Eck haunted the same conference, Token2049. Did they meet? Did they not? History shall forget, but the rumors are enough. Apparently, CZ dispensed a few soundbites like confetti, observed here:
“This cycle so far has been the ETFs. And it’s almost all Bitcoin. Ether hasn’t had as much success, but Bitcoin success will spill over to the others eventually. It takes time, though. I think we are still early,” Balchunas quoted from CZ’s conference appearances.
So for now, like awaiting the next act at the Variety Theatre, all we can do is stare meaningfully into our tea and muse: will the SEC let a BNB ETF onto the stage, or will the usher show us the door? October, they say, is the earliest answer—a month famous for its tricks, its treats, and the occasional bureaucratic costume party. 🎭
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2025-05-05 20:03