They Bought How Much Bitcoin?! Semler Scientific’s Big Crypto Gambit

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What to know:

  • Apparently, Semler Scientific, the people making medical devices, just got bored and picked up 167 more bitcoin—with an “oh, look what I found under the couch cushions” $16.2 million. 😮
  • How did they come up with all this cash? Did they sell lemonade on the street? No, not quite. They sold common stock. Who needs steady business models when you can just shuffle stocks around for digital gold, right?
  • And now they’re sitting on a cool 3,634 bitcoin, which cost them about $322 million. That’s a whole lot of beeping machines and doctor’s visits traded for invisible internet money. 🤑

Okay, listen to this: Semler Scientific, ticker SMLR—they were already dabbling in bitcoin before, but last week? Bam! Another 167 BTC added, costing $16.2 million. Around $97K per bitcoin. Yes, you read that right. Ninety-seven. Thousand. Dollars. Per. Coin. Larry David voice: “Who are these people?!”

And if you’re sitting there thinking, “Gee, I wonder where they found that cash, Larry?” Here’s a hint— they didn’t find it under the mattress. Nope. They sold 1.166 million shares, raked in $39.8 million (at-the-market, just in case someone asks at a party) and voilà: more bitcoin. If only my savings account worked like that.

So now, Semler’s the proud owner of 3,634 bitcoin, spent $322.3 million on this stuff. That averages out to around $88K per coin, which, I don’t know, maybe sounds cheap if you’re one of those “number go up” people. At today’s price, about $94K? Their stash is worth over $340 million. I mean, who needs to make medical devices when you can just HODL and leave everyone else to check their blood pressure? 🙄

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2025-05-05 16:18