IRS Crypto Gurus Vanish Like Bitcoin in a Bear Market—What the Dickens Happened?

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It is a truth universally acknowledged—at least by those forced to self-report imaginary gains—that the IRS has parted ways with its brightest crypto beacons, Messrs. Seth Wilks and Raj Mukherjee. One can only assume they departed for wilder, less-taxed pastures, or perhaps into exile atop a pile of unregulated meme coins.

Though they remain in the government’s curious state of limbo known as “paid administrative leave”—a euphemism so splendidly American it ought to be trademarked—their spirits are destined, one presumes, for realms more lucrative than government employ. This mass exodus is the latest bauble dangled by the Department Of Government Efficiency (DOGE). One could be forgiven for suspecting that ‘Efficiency’ in this context is code for ‘everyone go home and we’ll send your cheque.’

Wilks and Mukherjee, plucked from the ranks of TaxBit and Binance (a title both chic and vaguely ominous), were enlisted as the IRS’s digital asset knights-errant in early 2024. Their noble quest? To impose form upon the formless, order upon digital anarchy. Only Wilde himself might appreciate the delicious irony: two men tasked with making sense of the senseless, and then promptly shown the door.

These gentlemen crafted new rules and devised instruments for seeing through the blockchain fog—new 1099-DAs for all! Who could resist such excitement? Never has the phrase “reporting standards” sounded more like an invitation to a particularly dreadful ball. For those who dreamt of DeFi, there came one last twist; just as they neared a breakthrough in regulating decentralized finance brokers, Congress declared “Not today!” and snatched the quill away. The President, delighted no doubt to sign any piece of parchment, obliged.

Both Wilks and Mukherjee accepted the government’s irresistible offer: depart now, avoid the rush! Settle into administrative oblivion while the IRS prepares to shed its staff like a bitcoin miner offloading GPU stock. Over 20,000 others have joined them, all waving fond farewells—or perhaps simply logging off their work laptops and disappearing into slumber.

As the IRS’s crypto ambitions evaporate, left behind are only the ghosts of regulations half-dreamed. And so, dear reader, the question must be asked: who is left to tax the profits of those trading coins emblazoned with cartoon dogs? Alas, the answer may well be: “Not it!” 🕵🏻‍♂️💸🐕

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2025-05-03 21:08