Jack Mallers Claims Bitcoin Could Make You a Trillionaire—Is He Serious?

by

In a small, dimly lit office—paperwork haphazardly stacked, a half-eaten blini forgotten on the windowsill—Mallers, now the frazzled captain at the helm of his new ship, Twenty One, recounted his latest musings. The company, incidentally flanked by titans with equally legendary appetites for risk—Tether, Softbank, and Cantor Fitzgerald—lives for one purpose. Or so they claim. The interviewer, a certain David Lin, who seemed perpetually caught between fascination and sleep, pressed Mallers for enlightenment regarding his wild, mathematics-defying prophecy made to Anthony Pompliano. That prophecy? Something about multiplying today’s Bitcoin price by 400 or 500, give or take a zero. This, apparently, after only his second cup of coffee.

Are We All Secretly Sitting on $900 Trillion? 🍷

Mallers, with the straightest face a man can muster after thirty minutes dodging existential questions, remarked: the combined sum of all the things in which humanity seeks to squirrel away its anxieties—stocks, real estate, government paper, art that resembles spilled tea—is, astonishingly, around $900 trillion. To this, the gods of cryptocurrency say: “Hold my vodka.” Should Bitcoin, in a fit of cosmic drama, absorb even just a hefty chunk of these stores of wealth, it will become something more than a digital coin. Perhaps a Dostoevsky character, pondering its own purpose.

Mallers waved away concerns of scarcity with an existential shrug. “There are just 21 million bitcoins,” he declared, as if discussing how many sardines remain in the tin. Some, tragically, are lost in digital limbo—perhaps a lesson in humility for overeager prospectors. With a quick jot on his napkin, Mallers deduced: If every hidden ruble and dusty share were distilled into Bitcoin, each unit might fetch $42 million. And factoring in those lost to forgotten passwords and ill-fated hard drives? Why not round up to a poetic $50 million. If only finding lost love were so simple.

Prediction? Framework? Or Teenage Dream? 🎻

He hastened to clarify—oh, did he hasten!—that this isn’t a forecast. No! Consider it a sort of Russian nesting doll: not the truth, but a framework around the truth, or at least around a pleasant fantasy. “Not your financial horoscope,” Mallers promised, with a wink so subtle one would think it was a nervous tic. No one, he assured, should bet the samovar on this scenario. Instead, he wants you to gaze at the snowstorm outside and imagine: what could Bitcoin be, in the world stage’s grand, never-ending play?

His venture, Twenty One, aspires to nudge the world toward this ambiguous horizon—building not just infrastructure and tools, but, one suspects, the occasional punchline, too. As the financial world buzzes about long-term models and spreadsheets unravel across accountants’ desks, big visions like Mallers’ swirl around—less like roadmaps, more like invitations to a grand ball where no one knows the music. One thing is certain: if fortune favors the bold, it must have a very dry sense of humor.

Read More

2025-05-03 19:57