This Town in Iowa Is Now Officially Hotter Than the Sun (if You’re a Bitcoin)

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It was a perfectly ordinary Tuesday—if you define “ordinary” as firing up enough mining rigs to drown Iowa in the soothing hum of digital coins being born—when Compass Mining officially went “phase one complete!” on their self-owned bitcoin facility. No, the cornfields have not become sentient… yet. But they are now within earshot of some very industrious servers. 🖥️💸

Compass Mining Powers Up First Phase of 30 MW Iowa Project (or: A New Hope for Blockchains… in Corn Country!)

Phase one, a sprightly 8 megawatts (MW) out of a potential 30 MW, is running like a caffeinated squirrel chasing the blockchain. Construction on the rest, according to cryptic blueprints filed by the company, starts in Q4 2025—which is roughly the same time your Aunt Martha plans to learn what a bitcoin is.

All on a site the size of five football fields, which—if you stacked actual bitcoins on it—would be pointless because bitcoins are digital, but the point is: it’s huge. According to an announcement secretly slipped under the newsroom’s door at TopMob, this Iowa outpost lets Compass Mining flex its infrastructure muscles and show off how clients can just plug their machines directly into the very heart of rural America. Nothing says “cutting-edge” like high-speed internet next to a herd of bemused cows, right?

Paul Gosker, CEO and advocate for laptops everywhere, declared this move reinforces Compass’ “control over operations” and gives customers menu-level flexibility. Apparently, the nation was crying out for more choices in where their digital money gets virtually minted. The Iowa operation follows closely after the big, wet, hydro-cooled debut in North Dakota. Cold water, hot coins—what a time to be alive!

In 2024, Compass collected power capacity like a stamp collector on a bender, adding almost 50 MW across Indiana, Ohio, Texas, and a few states the founders probably can’t spell. Their masterplan: Stack up their own stuff while keeping a few alliances with trusted third-party hosts, just in case the robots ever revolt.

They’re keeping mum on exactly when the whole Iowa enterprise will be finished or how many sacks of cash will disappear into the construction pit. Paul Gosker, never one to get too specific, was quoted as saying expansion is “crucial” (yawn) in cementing Compass as a Bitcoin mining host BIG DEAL. His exclusive take:

“Owning and operating our own sites gives customers more control, while still letting them pick from our lovely, hand-crafted artisanal network of third-party facilities. Pick and mix, dear miner, pick and mix!”

Somewhere out there, a spreadsheet just gave a sigh of relief and a piggy bank exploded.

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2025-04-29 23:28