Why Semler Scientific’s Bitcoin Hoarding Will Make You Chuckle (or Cry)

Ah, Semler Scientific, that charmingly obsessive American medical tech firm with a penchant for Bitcoin. They’ve just added another dazzling batch of 111 BTC to their ever-growing treasure chest, shoving their total past the quaint milestone of 3,300 coins. One can’t help but wonder if their servers are starting to resemble Fort Knox.

The dashing Eric Semler, founder and chairman, took to the modern soapbox known as X—yes, that platform formerly known for bird-related chirps—to declare their latest acquisition worth a handsome $10 million. Apparently, the company isn’t merely dabbling; they’re positively romancing this crypto siren. “Just getting started,” he quipped, with the confidence of someone who’s found his financial rose among the thorns.

In a press release that reads like the diary of a particularly meticulous hoarder, Semler Scientific reveals they embraced Bitcoin as their primary reserve asset back in May 2024. Their average cost per coin? A devilish $88,000—because why not splash out on a few shiny tokens when one can?

“Semler Scientific acquired 111 Bitcoin for $10.0 million with an average purchase price of $90,124 per Bitcoin… As of April 24, 2025, Semler Scientific held 3,303 Bitcoin, which were acquired for an aggregate $290.4 million at an average purchase price of $87,929 per Bitcoin.”

One must peek curiously at their *BTC yield*—a metric to keep score on their crypto courting success—which flaunts a rather sprightly 23.5% year-to-date. It’s almost like watching a financial soap opera, only slightly less dramatic and with more zeros.

Cast your mind back to December, when these Californian cowboys scooped up 303 BTC at $78,553 each—because if you’re going to bet big, why not go all in? That frivolity brought their stash to a whopping 1,873 coins then—as if to say, “Hold my latte.”

According to the all-knowing Bitcoin Treasuries, Semler Scientific now proudly sits at number 14 on the leaderboard for Bitcoin holdings. Not quite top of the charts, but who’s counting when you’re practically a crypto aristocrat?

At the very moment this script was penned, Bitcoin was waltzing around $95,068, up a modest 1.8% in the last 24 hours. One wonders if their finance team is ticking off the minutes like schoolchildren waiting for the bell.

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2025-04-26 23:04