You Won’t Believe What the SEC Said About Crypto—It’s Actually Clear This Time!

by

In what might be the most surprising plot twist since someone found a hitchhiker in the bathroom, SEC Chair Paul Atkins casually mentioned at the Crypto Task Force Roundtable that digital assets—yes, those mysterious internet magic beans—actually deserve clear rules. Imagine that! 🚀

According to Paul (who apparently skipped the “How to be Vague 101” class), crypto could bring immense efficiency and cost-cutting perks. Because who doesn’t want cheaper, faster, and more confusing money? 💸

He also took a moment to throw some polite shade at the previous SEC administration led by Gary Gensler, a man known for giving crypto the regulatory equivalent of a wedgie. Paul implied it was like trying to have a dance party with someone spraying whipped cream in your eyes. No fun, zero liquidity.

Oh, and Gary recently popped up on CNBC to double down on his portfolio of eyebrow-raisers, insisting that a staggering 99% of all digital assets are just built on good ol’ sentiment. You know, like how 99% of cats believe they own the furniture. 🐱✨

Meanwhile, Paul showered praise on “Crypto Mom” Hester Peirce, who has been waving her sensible-crypto-flag like it’s the last umbrella in a rainstorm. “It’s no wonder,” he said, “that she has rightfully earned the title of ‘Crypto Mom.’” Move over, actual moms, we have a new hero in town. 🦸‍♀️

The roundtable was basically a soap opera featuring custody rules—the bureaucratic equivalent of “Who Gets to Hold the Keys to the Crypto Kingdom?” Some say the rules should be different for crypto (because it’s special), but oh boy, untangling that spaghetti is no simple feat.

Then there’s Caroline Crenshaw, the one Democrat channeling her inner crypto skeptic. She insists the existing SEC custody rules remain “the gold standard” for investor protection. Because nothing says “trust us” like rules designed for very traditional finance applied to something that changes shape faster than a chameleon on a disco ball.

Caroline asked a truly profound question: “Should the rules be any different for crypto assets?” It’s the kind of question that keeps regulators awake at night and crypto enthusiasts reaching for their stress balls. 🤔

Read More

2025-04-26 00:14