How One Crypto Wizard Turned $12M Into 18 Years Doing Time—And Other Tall Tales

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Meet Eugene William Austin Jr., or as he fancied himself in the shadowy corners of the internet, “Hugh Austin”—a man whose grand plan to charm the coins out of two dozen unsuspecting souls added up to a neat $12 million. Spoiler alert: his version of “crypto magic” landed him 18 years behind bars, which, frankly, costs less than a luxury hotel, but with fewer cocktails 🍸.

Not to be outdone in dishonor, his son Brandon earned a cameo sentence of four years for playing along in this family-friendly hustle, as reported by the Justice folks (who apparently have nothing but free time and a fondness for reruns of fraud cases).

According to the ever-watchful U.S. Attorney Jay Clayton, Mr. Austin’s scam was an all-you-can-fake buffet of cryptocurrency schemes, “short-term investments” that were shorter than his actual prison sentence, and glorified brokerage services—if your brokerage is run by a troupe of bad magicians. 🧙‍♂️✨

He dazzled victims with promises of backing from wealthy mysterious investors who, much like unicorns, existed solely in his tall tales. Sadly, those backers never showed up—kind of like good plot twists in a telemarketer’s pitch.

And where did all that “invested” money go? Well, not into ventures or venturesome. Instead, it was funneled into Hugh’s personal pleasure palace: lavish hotels, frequent flyer miles that jealous airline staff must now ponder, and restaurants probably wondering why they have so many unexplained large tabs.

The Trial of a Cryptocurrency Charlatan

In the grand finale of this fictional venture, a federal jury, who clearly prefer real dramas over scripted ones, found Austin guilty in September 2024 of conspiracy to swindle, launder, and move stolen goods across state lines—because crime, like bad ideas, doesn’t respect borders.

Presiding over this circus was U.S. District Judge P. Kevin Castel, who generously decided 18 years was the right runtime for this saga.

At 62, Mr. Austin from Port Jefferson, New York, has not only to serve time but also to cough up over $12.6 million in restitution (plus forfeit a shiny $6 million), and then be on best behavior for three years supervised release. Because even in prison, karma likes to have a follow-up episode.

“This Office will continue to hunt down those who exploit trust and cloak scams in cryptocurrency wizardry,” declared Clayton, giving a well-deserved shoutout to Homeland Security Investigations and the Complex Frauds and Cybercrime Unit—because fighting fraud sometimes feels like wrangling dragons with a butter knife.

The prosecutions were handled by the unflappable Assistant U.S. Attorneys Olga Zverovich, Matthew Weinberg, and Andrew Chan, who probably deserve a medal—and perhaps a drink or two—for navigating this labyrinth of lies.

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2025-04-24 19:32