Dwarf Fortress moments when players went too far

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At first glance, Dwarf Fortress might appear simple, but beneath its unassuming exterior lies a game where you manage and maintain a dwarven colony. Beneath this surface, however, the engine boasts an astonishing level of complexity, meticulously simulating every aspect of its fantasy world – from historical events to physical phenomena – with intricate detail. When given free rein, imaginative players can generate a wide array of extraordinary situations, ranging from uproariously funny to questionably moral – much like real life itself. Here are some remarkable instances from the annals of Dwarf Fortress, where players took things a step too far.

Dwarf Fortress: The pitfalls of pitfalls

Let’s kick off with a discussion from the gaming forum focused on pits, where players engage in spirited discussions about them. Pits are versatile features – they can serve as defensive measures against attackers or execution sites for prisoners without compelling your dwarves to commit murder. The game’s community thrives on striving for excellence, efficiency, and innovation, so it wouldn’t be typical if there wasn’t a drive towards perfection in their usage of pits.

The conversation encompasses numerous topics. Is it advisable to line the bottom of the chasm with lead due to its high density causing fatal falls? How can we manage the accumulation of bodies that progressively obstruct the fall of future victims? Indeed, the game mechanics account for this. To respond to your question, create a flood system to wash away the deceased remains. This way, your execution pit remains spotless and tidy, demonstrating that you’re not a savage.

As a gamer, I’d advise against relying on a single spear for combat. It might look cool, but there’s always a risk that the opponent could deflect your attack, turning them into an unstoppable warrior in the process. Better stick to strategic moves that ensure victory!

As a devoted enthusiast of Dwarf Fortress, I can’t help but spot an intriguing prospect right before my eyes: with the right training, our young dwarven brethren could mold themselves into formidable soldiers.

Dwarf Fortress: Hardcore Kindergarten

If you find this concept morbid or disturbing, it suggests that you don’t have an affinity for the time period when various trials involving what were called kindergartens took place within the game. The truth is, small-statured children, akin to dwarves, aren’t particularly valuable in a fortress setting. They can perform basic tasks, but their overall contribution to the community is minimal. Frequently, players confine them in an enclosed space with sufficient sustenance to live until adulthood, essentially removing them from active participation for convenience.

Instead of starting from scratch, imagine if these creatures could be taught resilience since their infancy, making every investment in them valuable. Consequently, various trials took place. Dwarf-like beings were confined and subjected to situations that involved dogs fighting to the death, or being exposed repeatedly to small doses of molten lava – all with the intention of toughening their minds and bodies.

A more efficient approach involved giving each warrior a baby during their training exercises against automated spear traps, which were fitted with blunt wooden spikes (to minimize harm). This allowed the babies, who were fastened to the warriors, to gain valuable evasion skills by simply staying alive through the experience.

Dwarf Fortress: Drunk cats

It’s clear that Dwarf Fortress players aren’t monstrous, but this incident provides strong evidence. Upon adding taverns to the game, an alarming trend emerged – cats started dying off in large numbers across all forts. Regardless of where you looked, these adorable felines would vomit and die soon after, leading to a surge in disease-carrying rats taking over fortresses. The community collaborated to find the source of this tragedy, and they discovered that when dwarves get tipsy, they tend to spill alcohol.

In the game, cats often stay close to dwarves and accidentally came into contact with pools of beer and wine, causing them to ingest alcohol. When they licked their fur clean, they inadvertently consumed too much alcohol and suffered from alcohol poisoning. The game miscalculated the amount of poison ingested, leading to a large number of cats leaving the game. Thankfully, this error has since been rectified.

Well, I’ve got to say, even though the antics of Dwarf Fortress players may seem extreme at times, let’s remember they have a soft spot for felines. So, as we delve into our final historical account, bear in mind that these cat-loving gamers are inherently good-natured. Got it?

Dwarf Fortress: The Merpeople Incident

In the annals of Dwarf Fortress gameplay, one particularly questionable moment for players stands out – the brief period when merfolk farms were popular. Merfolk, much like humans, elves, goblins, and numerous other creatures in this fantasy realm, share the world with the titular dwarves. Upon their introduction in version 0.28.181, merfolk had a unique attribute that significantly boosted the worth of their bones.

As a follower of these fascinating beings, I lament the fact that their existence makes them an economical choice for fortresses to cultivate. Thankfully, they reside in the vast oceans, making industrial farming and exploitation impossible due to their intelligence. However, let me clarify something…

Despite their aquatic habitat, it seems there might be some misconception about their industrial farmability. While I’d like to believe that they are too intelligent to be farmed on a large scale, it’s crucial to remember that human ingenuity is boundless and the potential for exploitation should never be underestimated. So, while we can take comfort in the challenges posed by their environment and intellect, vigilance remains essential to protect them from any unscrupulous activities.

Under difficult conditions, these situations became even more enticing for the community – much like how life has an uncanny ability to adapt and thrive, as famously said by Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park: “Life will find a way.

The study on merfolk started to discover the most productive means of reproduction, slaughter, and dissection. Creators developed capturing mechanisms and different detention facilities, along with methods to swiftly separate offspring from the main group, they maximized breeding speed, and conceived methods for immediate killing so that their miners wouldn’t have to bear guilt over the mass extermination of an intelligent species. Is it reasonable to consider this as empathy?

Ultimately, a scheme was concocted to excavate a pit beneath the ocean and imprison the merfolk using trap doors. The plan was to compel them to reproduce, then throw their newborns into a deep chasm to their demise. It was discovered that the bones of merchildren were equivalent in quantity to those of adults, eliminating the need for a wait as they matured.

In Dwarf Fortress, developers often give the community free rein – it’s this mechanical intricacy and resulting autonomy that powers the game and makes it a remarkable story generator. However, a particularly extreme form of digital industrial slaughter, meticulously refined in a 28-page forum discussion, was beyond Bay 12 Games’ tolerance. Despite no official announcement on the matter, a patch was swiftly released to decrease the worth of merpeople body parts, thus eliminating economic exploitation of these creatures. Additionally, the code governing dwarven morality was expanded to make the wholesale slaughter of intelligent life a disheartening experience for the bearded mountain residents, effectively putting an end to such activities.

Dwarf Fortress offers an intriguing glimpse into our deepest desires. It presents the age-old conundrum of how we might wield total control over the existence of various species. Reflecting on the scenarios that have unfolded, it’s reassuring to remember that it’s only a virtual world.

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2025-04-17 13:17