🚨 Crypto’s Wild Ride: Tariffs? What Tariffs? 🤣

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Well, well, well. Look who’s being all resilient and whatnot. Despite the Nasdaq’s 1000-point tantrum on Thursday, Bitcoin and its altcoin friends are all like, “Meh, Trump tariffs? Never heard of ’em.” 🙅‍♂️ BTC‘s price today? Down a mere 1% to $82,698. Volatility, schmolatility. 📈

Where’s Bitcoin Price Heading Next? (Spoiler Alert: Nobody Knows) 🤔

Bitcoin’s been on a wild rollercoaster ride, swinging between $82,000-$89,000. Just as Trump’s tariffs kicked in on April 2, BTC’s price went from “Wheeee!” ($88,000) to “Ahhhh!” ($82,000). 🎠

And yet, despite the Nasdaq and S&P 500 having a collective meltdown (6% and 5% drops, respectively, on Thursday), crypto’s all, “Hey, we’re good.” 🙌 Crypto analyst Ali Martinez has spotted a potential rebound signal: if BTC reclaims the short-term holder realized price level ($90,570), it’s bull run o’clock! 🕰️

Will the Fed Cut Rates in May? (Place Your Bets, Folks!) 🎲

Traders are giving a 25 basis point rate cut at the May 7 FOMC meeting a whopping 27.1% chance. Translation: investors think the Fed’s all, “Nah, we’re good.” 🙅‍♂️ Fed Chair Jerome Powell’s still being cautious, waiting for more evidence that inflation’s cooling down. Crypto analyst Titan of Crypto’s all optimistic, though: “Inflation’s gonna chill out, and Bitcoin’s gonna… well, you know.” 🤞

Altcoins: Will They Ever Recover? (Fingers Crossed, Everyone!) 🤞

Poor altcoins. They’ve had a brutal 2025 so far, with Ethereum, Solana, and friends dropping 30-40%. BUT! Some analysts think this is the end of the correction (aka the altcoin apocalypse). They’re all, “The bottom’s in, and it’s rally time!” 🎉 Crypto analyst Wimar.X has even spotted a historically significant technical crossover – a.k.a. the altcoin party starter. 🎊

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2025-04-04 09:01