Crypto Chaos: Why Your Wallet Might Be Crying Right Now! 😂💸

Ah, the crypto market, that delightful rollercoaster of financial uncertainty, has kicked off the week with a resounding thud, as if it were trying to impress a particularly judgmental audience. Investor anxiety is palpable, largely due to the impending “Liberation Day” tariffs from none other than Donald Trump, who seems to have taken a break from reality TV to dabble in economic chaos. As a result, the crypto market cap has taken a nosedive, plummeting almost 2% to a staggering $2.65 trillion. Bitcoin (BTC), that ever-volatile digital diva, managed to cling to its dignity above $83,000 for most of the weekend, only to tumble down to a low of $81,366 before performing a dramatic rebound to $82,200, which is still a drop of over 1% in the last 24 hours. Bravo, Bitcoin! 🎭

Meanwhile, Ethereum (ETH) has decided to join the pity party, continuing its downward spiral like a sad balloon at a forgotten birthday bash. It plunged below $2,000 on March 28 and dipped below $1,900 on Sunday, as bearish sentiment swept through the market like a bad smell. Currently, ETH is trading just above the $1,800 mark, which is about as comforting as a wet sock. Ripple (XRP) is down almost 4%, trading at $2.11, while Solana (SOL) is hanging on at $126 after a slight decline. Dogecoin (DOGE), the meme coin that refuses to die, is down nearly 3% and trading at $0.167. Other cryptocurrencies like Cardano (ADA), Chainlink (LINK), and Stellar (XLM) have also decided to join the downward trend, while Toncoin (TON) is the lone rebel, up over 3% at $3.89. Go, Toncoin! 🎉

Japan To Give Crypto Legal Status

In a move that can only be described as “finally,” Japan’s Financial Services Agency (FSA) is contemplating giving crypto assets legal status as financial products. This means that crypto assets will be subjected to insider trading restrictions, which is a fancy way of saying, “No more sneaky buying and selling based on secret information.” The FSA plans to submit a bill to parliament as early as 2026, which is practically tomorrow in bureaucratic time. Japan currently classifies cryptocurrencies as a means of settlement under the Payments Services Act, which sounds much more official than it actually is.

This potential rule change will allow Japan’s financial regulator to tighten its grip on local crypto service providers, effectively putting a leash on scam cryptocurrencies. Classifying crypto as a financial product means exchanges and companies must register with financial regulators, which is about as exciting as watching paint dry. The bill will also separate crypto assets from other securities like stocks and bonds, while insider trading rules will mirror those governing conventional financial products. Because why not make everything more complicated? 🤷‍♂️

South Korea’s Crypto Investors Top 16 Million

In South Korea, the number of cryptocurrency investors has soared past 16 million, which is nearly 32% of the country’s population. This data was submitted to Rep Cha Gyu-guen of the Rebuilding Korea Party, who probably has better things to do. The figure was compiled from accounts held at the top five exchanges: Upbit, Bithumb, Coinone, Korbit, and Gopax. Crypto investors crossed 14 million in March 2024, and another 500,000 jumped on the bandwagon after Trump’s election victory, pushing the figure beyond 15 million. Market watchers predict that if this trend continues, we might see 20 million crypto enthusiasts, or as I like to call them, “people who enjoy financial rollercoasters.” 🎢

“Some believe the crypto market has reached a saturation point, but there is still an endless possibility for growth compared with the matured stock market.”

In a delightful twist, over 20% of South Korean officials are now crypto holders. Out of 2,047 officials who filed declarations, 411 disclosed direct crypto investments or holdings. This includes high-ranking government representatives, which is comforting to know, right? The total value of crypto assets declared by these officials amounts to 14.1 billion Korean won, or about $9.8 million. Because nothing says “trustworthy government” like officials dabbling in digital currencies! 💰

Toulouse Begins Accepting Crypto For Public Transport

In a move that can only be described as “why not,” the city of Toulouse has started accepting crypto as payment for public transport. Yes, you can now pay for your metro, cable car, tram, and bus tickets using Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. Because who wouldn’t want to ride the tram while contemplating the existential dread of their crypto investments? 🚋

“With @Lyzi_app and @tisseo_officiel, you can now get around Toulouse using your crypto holdings; marking them as the first European public transport system to test this! Metro, tram, bus, cable car, and park & ride – they’re all included. Lyzi keeps making #Web3 more accessible by collaborating with leading real-world companies.”

This initiative comes as France looks to deploy crypto-friendly services across major cities, with reports suggesting even Cannes is working on a payment system to accept crypto from residents. According to the Deputy Mayor of Toulouse, this initiative is experimental, which is bureaucratic speak for “we have no idea what we’re doing.” The company’s press release emphasized that the city’s administration is interested in the long-term prospects of crypto integration, which is reassuring, I suppose. Paris-based Lyzi has helped develop the crypto payment infrastructure for Tisséo, and they’ve also assisted several other businesses in accepting crypto payments. Because if you can’t beat them, join them, right? 🤔

Bitcoin (BTC) Price Analysis

Bitcoin’s (BTC) attempts to mount a recovery on Sunday went up in flames, much like my hopes of ever understanding the crypto market. The flagship cryptocurrency succumbed to selling pressure, plummeting from $83,600 to a low of $81,596 on Sunday. BTC’s recent bearish turn has seen it drop almost 6% over the past week and is down nearly 2% over the past 24 hours. BTC is slipping towards the $80,000 mark, which is about as comforting as a cactus in a balloon factory. The flagship cryptocurrency is trading below $82,000, and the 20, 50, and 200-day SMAs are all shaking their heads in disappointment. It faces immediate resistance at around $82,000, with the first key resistance at around $83,000. If BTC fails to push above these resistance levels, it could start a fresh decline, with the first immediate support level at $81,000. A break below this level could send the price towards $80,000, and if sellers drive BTC below this level, it could settle between $75,000 and $78,000. 🎢

CryptoQuant data reveals investor sentiment is muted, which is a fancy way of saying everyone is panicking. This is in sharp contrast with ETF inflows and accumulation by South Korean retail traders, who seem to be having a party while the rest of us are crying into our wallets. BTC and the wider market’s decline also triggered over $192 million in derivatives liquidations over the past 24 hours. Bitcoin longs accounted for $44 million, while Ethereum added another $45 million. Because why not add a little more chaos to the mix? 🎉

BTC registered a sharp increase on Wednesday (March 19) but fell back into the red on Thursday, dropping below the 20 and 200-day SMAs and settling at $84,215. Price action remained bearish on Friday and Saturday as sellers retained control. As a result, BTC registered marginal declines and settled at $83,822. However, sentiment changed on Sunday as markets rallied, with BTC rising almost 3% to cross the 20 and 200-day SMAs and settle at $86,116. The price surged to an intraday high of $88,839 on Monday as bullish sentiment intensified. However, it could not stay at this level and settled at $87,523, ultimately registering an increase of almost 2%. BTC lost momentum on Tuesday after encountering volatility and selling pressure. As a result, it registered a marginal decline and settled at $87,417. Sellers retained control on Wednesday as the price dropped below $87,000 and settled at $86,942.

BTC registered a marginal increase Thursday to reclaim $87,000 and settle at $87,236. However, it was back in the red on Friday as markets turned bearish, dropping over 3%, slipping below the 200-day SMA and settling at $84,422. Sellers retained control on Saturday as BTC dropped over 2%, falling below the 20-day SMA and settling at $82,704. Buyers attempted a recovery on Sunday as the price reached an intraday high of $83,635. However, BTC lost momentum after reaching this level and settled at $82,404, registering a marginal decline. The current session sees sellers in control, with the price down almost 1% and trading at $81,870. If sellers retain control, BTC could dip to $80,000. A break below this level could see BTC drop to $75,000. 🎢

Ethereum (ETH) Price Analysis

Ethereum (ETH) continued its decline, falling below $1,900 and closing below its daily support of $1,861. The world’s second-largest cryptocurrency is down over 13% this week and down almost 2% over the past 24 hours, with sellers firmly in control. ETH registered a sharp increase on Wednesday (March 19) but fell back into the red on Thursday after failing to move past the 20-day SMA. As a result, the price dropped almost 4%, slipping below $2,000 and settling at $1,983. Sellers retained control on Friday as ETH dropped nearly 1% and settled at $1,965. The price recovered over the weekend, rising almost 1% on Saturday and 1.33% on Sunday to climb above $2,000 and settle at $2,007. Bullish sentiment intensified on Monday as ETH registered an increase of almost 4% to move past the 20-day SMA and settle at $2,082.

However, it lost momentum after reaching this level, registering a marginal decline on Tuesday to settle at $2,068. Sellers retained control on Wednesday as ETH dropped almost 3% and settled at $2,010. The price remained bearish on Thursday, registering another marginal decline and settling at $2,003. Selling pressure intensified on Friday as ETH plunged over 5%, slipping below the 20-day SMA and $2,000 to $1,897. Bearish sentiment persisted over the weekend, as the price dropped almost 4% on Saturday and 1.15% on Sunday to settle at $1,807. The current session sees ETH marginally up as buyers look to prevent a drop below $1,800. However, if buyers regain control and ETH resumes its downward trend, it could retest the $1,700 support level. On the other hand, buyers will look to build momentum and reclaim $2,000. The RSI is below the neutral zone, while the MACD indicates growing bearishness, suggesting sellers have the upper hand. 🎢

Solana (SOL) Price Analysis

Solana (SOL) started the previous week on a bullish note, registering an increase of over 3% and settling at $132. Bullish sentiment intensified on Monday as the price rose over 6%, moving past the 200-day SMA and settling at $141. Buyers retained control on Tuesday as SOL registered an increase of almost 2% and settled at $143, but not before reaching an intraday high of $147. However, SOL lost momentum after reaching this level thanks to selling pressure of around $150. As a result, the price dropped over 4% on Wednesday, slipping below $140 and settling at $137.

SOL registered a marginal increase on Thursday as buyers attempted a recovery. However, it was back in the red on Friday, falling over 6%, slipping below the 20-day SMA, and settling at $129. Price action remained bearish on Saturday as SOL dropped almost 4% and settled at $124. SOL attempted a recovery on Sunday but could not build momentum, ultimately registering only a marginal increase. The current session sees SOL marginally up as buyers and sellers struggle to establish control. Buyers will look to retain control and push SOL back above the 20-day SMA. On the other hand, sellers will look to regain control and drive the price below $120. A break below this level could see SOL plunge towards $100. 🎢

Dogecoin (DOGE) Price Analysis

Dogecoin (DOGE) has taken a substantial nosedive over the past few days, losing momentum after failing to move past $0.20. The popular meme coin started the previous week on a bullish note, registering an increase of over 3% on Sunday. Bullish sentiment intensified on Monday as DOGE surged past the 20-day SMA and settled at $0.182. Buyers retained control on Tuesday as the price registered an increase of over 5% and settled at $0.191. DOGE surged to an intraday high of $0.206 on Wednesday. However, it lost momentum after reaching this level and settled at $0.194, ultimately registering an increase of 1.62%.

Selling pressure intensified on Thursday as markets turned bearish. As a result, DOGE dropped almost 2% and settled at $0.191. Selling pressure intensified on Friday as the price dropped over 5% and settled at $0.180. Price action remained bearish over the weekend as sellers retained control on Saturday. As a result, DOGE fell over 6%, slipping below the 20-day SMA and settling at $0.169. The price continued to decline on Sunday, falling over 1% and settling at $0.167. The current session sees DOGE marginally down and trading at $0.165. Because why not? 🎢

2025-03-31 17:59