“Today, I’m reintroducing a bill that’s basically the financial equivalent of buying a Lamborghini with your tax refund. We’re talking about a U.S. Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. Because, you know, gold is so 20th century. Bitcoin isn’t just a tech thing—it’s a national imperative. We’re not just adapting to the future; we’re throwing money at it and hoping it sticks. This is how we’ll solve the national debt, folks. Forget cutting spending—just buy more Bitcoin. It’s foolproof!”
— Senator Cynthia Lummis
on introducing the Boosting Innovation, Technology, and Competitiveness through Optimized Investment Nationwide (BITCOIN) Act
So far, the BITCOIN Act has five Republican cosponsors in the Senate. That’s right, five. Jim Justice (R-WV), Tommy Tuberville (R-AL), Roger Marshall (R-KS), Marsha Blackburn (R-TN), and Bernie Moreno (R-OH). Moreno, by the way, owes his shiny new Senate seat to pro-crypto super PACs. Meanwhile, Rep. Nick Begich (R-AK) is drafting a matching bill in the House. Because why not double down on this madness?
Senator Cynthia Lummis, rocking Bitcoin Laser Eyes from her personal X account. Because nothing says “serious policymaker” like meme-worthy selfies.
If this bill passes, the U.S. government will be required to accumulate one million BTC—worth about $80 billion—over the next five years. Where’s the money coming from? Oh, just the Federal Reserve’s profits. No big deal. The Treasury Secretary will also have to create a “decentralized network of secure Bitcoin storage facilities” across the country. Because apparently, we’re all living in a cyberpunk novel now.
And here’s the kicker: all the Bitcoin will be stored in cold wallets. That’s right, no remote access. Because nothing says “secure” like a bunch of USB drives in a vault. Oh, and the Treasury will issue new certificates for the Federal Reserve’s gold holdings at updated market prices. The price difference? That’ll fund the Bitcoin acquisition. Genius, right?
Under the BITCOIN Act, any Bitcoin acquired must be held for at least 20 years before it can be sold. That’s right, 20 years. Because who doesn’t love a good HODL? The bill also limits how much BTC can be sold at any given time. No Treasury Secretary can offload more than 10% of the reserve within a two-year window. So, no panic selling. Just slow, agonizing waiting.
This bill is a watershed moment for Bitcoin. It’s positioning Bitcoin as a national reserve asset alongside gold. The White House has already said Bitcoin is unique due to its decentralization, security, and lack of an issuer. But unlike the Trump administration’s cautious approach, Lummis’ plan aggressively expands the government’s Bitcoin holdings. Because why not turn Bitcoin into a financial weapon?
With crypto-friendly lawmakers gaining traction, the BITCOIN Act could be the first step toward Bitcoin becoming a core pillar of U.S. economic policy. Will it get bipartisan support? Who knows. But one thing’s clear: Bitcoin’s role in national finance is no longer hypothetical. It’s becoming policy. And honestly, I can’t wait to see how this plays out. 🍿
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2025-03-11 22:15