In a move that would make even the most careless space traveler blush, a Bitcoin trader managed to turn a $10 transaction into a $105,000 lesson in humility. The incident has sparked a fresh round of head-shaking and finger-pointing in the crypto community, where manual settings are apparently the banana peels of the digital age. 🍌
Ah, the measure! It extends federal funding until January 30, 2026, because clearly, we’ve all got time to kill. Included are three grand appropriations packages for Military Construction, Veterans Affairs, Agriculture, and the Legislative Branch – because nothing says “efficiency” like a 40-day shutdown followed by a spending spree. 🤑
Broker Canaccord Genuity said Northern Data’s (NB2) long-anticipated merger with video platform Rumble (RUM) took a major step forward yesterday after the companies signed a business combination agreement. Because nothing says “excitement” like a merger that’s been “long-anticipated” for years. 🎬💣
While Bitcoin is busy being a good boy, sitting still and chuckling softly, privacy coins are staging a comeback with all the subtlety of a cat burglar. Zcash (ZEC), that sneaky darling, has strutted back into the top 20 cryptocurrencies, topping $600-an achievement not seen since the days when internet was just a passing fascination-and boasts a staggering $20 billion in futures trades. Yes, billion with a ‘B’. Someone’s stealing the show while the broader crypto herd naps.
The Silent Revolution
Mind you, it’s taken nearly three years to reach this stage, which is about as speedy as a tortoise with a hangover. The crypto exchange, which went belly-up in November 2022, has been a veritable quagmire of financial shenanigans and legal tomfoolery. 🕰️💔
His total Bitcoin investment has ballooned to a staggering $47.54 billion, with an average purchase price of $74,079. As long as BTC stays above this threshold, our fearless Saylor stays afloat-probably floating on a cloud of profit. Currently, the company’s treasure chest is worth a majestic $67.7 billion, a cheerful 42% profit despite Bitcoin’s recent bearish tantrums. Who says bears win every time? 🐻🧙♂️
Oh, look, Nanyang Technological University, or, as I call it, the beacon of brilliance NTU Singapore, has decided to buddy up with Zero Gravity (0G). Let’s throw an insane $3.84 million at this collaboration because apparently, AI needs transparency almost as much as I need a good steak. And guess what? This might be the first time a university is having a prom with a blockchain firm.
If you had to sum up bitcoin’s market action since June, “range-bound” and “directionless” might fit the bill. Or, as I like to call it, “the financial equivalent of a toddler spinning in circles.” 🐶
In a feat that would make even the most stoic of showgirls blush, revenue has skyrocketed by an astonishing 87%, reaching a splendid $50.6 million. Oh, darlings, digital assets alone now contribute to this flourish-$43.4 million, to be precise. Yes, Bitcoin’s nearly doubling, and so is the company’s confidence, it seems. 🎩
