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The figures are, admittedly, arresting. A quintupling of value in a mere thirteen months – a testament, not necessarily to inherent worth, but to the speculative fervor that now grips the markets. A 41% ascent this year alone, as of the third day of February. Such velocity… it recalls the frantic scramble for land during the gold rushes, a temporary madness before the inevitable reckoning. One asks oneself, what is being mined here, and at what cost?

These aren’t just ETFs; they’re reflections of the American economic psyche. SPY, the establishment’s darling, spreading its wealth across 502 companies. QQQ? A laser-focused obsession with the NASDAQ-100, a congregation of tech titans. The numbers, as they always do, tell a twisted tale. SPY’s expense ratio? A paltry 0.09%. QQQ? A greedy 0.20%. But let’s be honest, we’re not counting pennies here. We’re chasing momentum. And momentum, my friends, costs money.

Goldman’s exit is framed as ‘streamlining,’ which is corporate speak for “we messed this up.” They thought they could waltz into consumer banking? Bless their hearts. It’s like me deciding I’m going to become a brain surgeon. I can read a book, sure, but I’d probably end up causing more damage than good. The handover will take two years, which is approximately 18 months longer than it takes me to make a bad decision.

While AWS reported 20% growth, reaching an annualized run rate of $142 billion, this pales in comparison to Google Cloud’s 36% and Azure’s 39% growth during their respective reporting periods. This divergence, however, must be contextualized. AWS operates from a significantly larger revenue base, rendering percentage gains less indicative of absolute market dominance. Furthermore, the scale of AWS allows for greater revenue accretion from incremental growth.

One finds oneself compelled to consider the implications. The company, it seems, is positioned to benefit from a peculiar expansion.

This Elon Musk… he’s got people believing things. Believing in promises of robotaxis and… Optimus? Seriously, Optimus? It’s like he’s selling a lifestyle, not a car company. And people are lining up for it. It’s deeply unsettling. You’d think, after a while, someone would ask a reasonable question. Like, “What if the robot doesn’t fold the fitted sheet correctly?” It’s the little things, you know?

Units of Cryptocurrency Lost (so far): 0. Hours Spent Staring at Charts: 6. Number of Times I’ve Considered Just Putting it All in Bonds: 17.

VXUS is basically the Switzerland of ETFs. It throws a little money at everything outside the US – developed and emerging markets alike. It’s the “responsible adult” of your portfolio. EEM, however, is all-in on emerging markets. It’s the fund that’s been binge-watching documentaries about the Asian Tigers and thinks it has a foolproof plan. And honestly, sometimes it does… for a while.

Eli Lilly, of course, has already had its moment, a gilded ascent that left many trailing in its wake. Its stock, a phantom limb of past opportunities, has risen so high that to chase it now feels akin to scaling a mountain already crowned. The price-to-earnings ratio, a cold number, whispers of a peak perhaps unsustainable. But the market, like a fickle lover, rarely lingers on past glories. It demands new enchantments, fresh narratives. And those narratives, I believe, are beginning to coalesce around the quiet resilience of Novo Nordisk and the strategic refocusing of Medtronic.