Tilray’s Green Dream: A Cynic’s Diary

Cannabis stocks have been the emotional support plants of the market-loved in theory, disastrous in practice. Until now. Enter President Trump’s executive order, reclassifying marijuana from Schedule 1 to 3. On paper, this is the regulatory equivalent of trading a chainsaw for a cheese knife. Researchers can now poke at cannabis without fearing federal frowns, banks might finally deign to serve growers (shocking!), and tax deductions? Oh, sweet normalcy! But let’s not forget: Schedule 3 isn’t exactly a golden ticket. It’s more of a “we’ve slightly reduced the likelihood of your arrest” pass.

Is Kraken’s IPO the Lifeboat Crypto Needs? Find Out! 🚀💸

On that fateful day of October 6, Bitcoin reached a dizzying height of over $126,000, only to plummet into the depths of despair shortly thereafter, following a $19 billion liquidation event. Today, as we muse over the state of affairs, our beloved Bitcoin hobbles along at $87,015 per coin, down 6% in a mere fortnight, according to the ever-reliable CoinGecko. One might say it’s as if Bitcoin has taken a tumble down a particularly steep hill, gasping for breath at every turn.

Why Is Bitcoin Ghosting Kiyosaki? A Hilarious Tale of Silence & Surprises

Bitcoin logo

Now, here’s the plot twist: Kiyosaki, who used to be quite the Bitcoin cheerleader, has recently shifted gears. Instead of shouting “Buy! Buy! Buy!” he’s been more like a monk in silence, focusing on silver and gold. Because nothing screams ‘safe investment’ like shiny, heavy metals – perhaps more reliable than a volatile crypto roller coaster with all the grace of a drunken elephant.

XRP Outruns Bitcoin: Quantum Apocalypse or Just a Crypto Flex? 🚀

According to the proclamations of its architects, developers may now forge quantum-resistant accounts and execute transactions, their sanctity guarded by this new algorithm. A bold claim, indeed, in a world where Bitcoin, the once-unassailable titan, now appears as a lumbering giant, its developers confessing that their transition to such standards shall be a marathon, not a sprint. Jameson Lopp, the sage of Casa, estimates a decade or more for Bitcoin’s network to adapt-every node, wallet, and coin must bow to the new cryptographic decree. A Herculean task, no less. 🏃‍♂️💨

Metaplanet Stock Set to Skyrocket 1500% by 2027: The Crypto Rollercoaster

For those with short memories or just a penchant for optimism, Lux hints that in 2026, the stock could soar by a staggering 402%. All it takes is BTC to rally a modest 40% annually and Metaplanet to ramp up its BTC holdings to 100,000 by 2026, doubling to 210,000 by 2027. Easy peasy, right? Just the small matter of Bitcoin mooning again. 🚀✨

Grayscale’s ETF Gambit: Will the SEC Play Along? 🎩💥

This latest move focuses less on headline announcements and more on regulatory fine-tuning, a pattern often seen as ETF applications move deeper into the SEC review process. It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube while blindfolded and wearing socks on your hands. 🧩🧦