The OCC’s GENIUS Act: A Symphony of Regulation for Stablecoins!

Federal banking regulators, ever the diligent architects of confusion, have embarked on a noble quest to govern digital assets. On Feb. 25, the OCC issued a notice of proposed rulemaking-a document so dense it could double as a doorstop-to implement the Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for U.S. Stablecoins (GENIUS) Act. This masterpiece of legislation outlines standards for payment stablecoin issuance and related activities, all while ensuring no one actually understands what they just read.

Microsoft: A Perfectly Acceptable Risk

Recently, however, the stock has taken a bit of a tumble. About 26% down from its peak, which, in the grand scheme of things, is merely a polite correction. A gentle reminder that even empires, built on lines of code and quarterly earnings reports, are subject to the whims of… well, everything. Sell-offs of this magnitude are unusual for Microsoft, yes. But then, so is finding a genuinely honest accountant.1

ServiceNow’s Echo in the Machine

The enterprise software specialist, a name that sounds as dry as parchment, announced two new offerings, each a small universe of code and intention. They called it the Autonomous Workforce, a framework of “AI specialists” – a phrase that evokes images of tiny, tireless automatons – capable of executing tasks with an authority that borders on the spectral. The intention, they said, was to free humans for more “strategic problem solving” and “personalized service,” but one couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t also a subtle attempt to outsource the very soul of labor to the machines. It was a bold move, a gamble with the currency of time and attention, and the market, ever fickle, responded with a surge of optimism, pushing the stock price almost 5% higher.

Micron: A Rather Promising Turn

It appears Micron has stumbled, quite fortuitously, into the artificial intelligence arena. Their dynamic random-access memory (DRAM) and NAND flash memory, bless their little silicon hearts, are proving rather essential to these newfangled AI accelerators. From graphics cards to central processing units – a veritable bonanza, wouldn’t you say?

The MDU Whisper: A Quiet Exit

The divestiture, a transaction valued at approximately $74.50 million, wasn’t announced with trumpets or pronouncements, but rather materialized as a subtle shift in the constellations of ownership. It was a withdrawal, a pulling back of funds, as if sensing a change in the atmospheric pressure, a premonition of winds shifting direction. The numbers, of course, were precise – the shares unloaded, the value diminished – but they failed to capture the essence of the gesture, the quiet deliberation behind the act of letting go.

e.l.f. Beauty: A Prospect Worth Considering

A favourable report concerning their earnings in February did, indeed, occasion a momentary enthusiasm, though it proved, as is so often the case, a fleeting joy. The subsequent session witnessed a regrettable decline, a reminder that even the most promising ventures are subject to the whims of the market. However, a recovery has since been effected, and the stock now stands at an increase of approximately twenty-two percent from the year’s beginning, a circumstance which invites a closer inspection.

Navan: A Calculated Flutter?

The filing, dated February 17th, confirms the purchase. A bold stroke, considering Navan’s recent performance. The shares, having floated some months ago at $25, currently trade at a shade over $10. A decline of sixty per cent. The sort of figure that usually precipitates a rout, or at least a particularly gloomy luncheon. That Greenoaks should venture in at this juncture suggests either a remarkable degree of conviction, or a lamentable lack of memory.

Chime’s Little Tune: Still Not Profitable, Folks

Payments were up 17% to $396 million. Solid. Platform-related activity? A whopping 47% increase to $200 million. Which, translated from corporate-speak, means they’re finding new and creative ways to extract fees. It’s a beautiful system, really. Like a Rube Goldberg machine designed to separate fools from their money. And the net loss? Oh, it doubled. To $45 million. That’s right, they’re losing more money faster. But don’t worry, the analysts were expecting worse. Bless their hearts. They’re paid to look at the glass half-empty, then write a poem about it.

TTM Technologies: A Modest Speculation

The filing, dated February 17, 2026, confirms the purchase. TTM Technologies, it appears, has enjoyed a year of exceptional, almost indecent, prosperity. The share price has, rather improbably, tripled. A 250% gain in twelve months is, shall we say, unusual. One suspects a degree of speculative fervour is at play, a condition rarely conducive to long-term investment.

Wix’s Descent: A 70% Dip and One Investor’s Exit

Wix Stock Chart

According to a filing with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission – a document so densely worded it could likely be used as a structural component in a small building – Metavasi Capital offloaded its 37,000 shares in Wix.com. This resulted in a paper loss of $6.57 million. Which, while regrettable, is considerably less than the estimated cost of replacing all the lost socks in the known universe. (A figure we’re still calculating, naturally.)