As the government shutdown’s ghost haunts Wall Street, the SEC has issued guidance so precise, it makes one wonder if they’ve been binge-watching Mad Men. 🕶️ The agency, now armed with a 20-day effectiveness window (Section 8(a), for those who still read the rulebook), has essentially handed issuers a golden ticket to market. 🎫
🧵BitMine is pleased to announce management and Board appointments:
Today marks Day 43 of my quest to understand hedge fund managers. Units of Cryptocurrency Lost: 0 (for once). Hours Spent Deciphering SEC Filings: 3.7. Number of Times I’ve Compared Investing to Gambling: 12. Let’s begin.
Pray, do these harrowing omens signal a bear market? Let us dissect the matter with the precision of a well-aimed quill.
The filing, dated Friday, reveals that HG Vora’s position in the theme park operator has been reduced to 425,000 shares, worth $22 million at quarter-end. The transaction is surgical: a 44% stake reduction executed during a year when United Parks’ shares have collapsed by the same percentage. The S&P 500, for context, has risen 15% over the same period. Markets do not forgive stagnation.
Analyst Don, a modern-day soothsayer with a spreadsheet, points to Chainlink’s dance along the lower boundary of its descending channel. “It’s like watching a man teeter on a fence,” he says, “one wrong move, and he’s in the cactus patch.” 🌵🤠 The coin hovers near $14-$15, a zone where buyers once tried to build a fort against the bears. If it holds, Don whispers, we might see a sprint to $30-$33. But if it breaks? Well, $12 awaits, as inviting as a rattlesnake’s den. 🐍
So, Bitcoin’s having a rough time, huh? Poor guy. Meanwhile, Solana and XRP are over here sipping champagne and high-fiving institutional investors. 🥂 It’s not about hype or memes-these guys are the real deal, apparently. Or so Wall Street thinks. 🤷♂️
As recorded in the parchment of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, this acquisition was no mere transaction but a calculated pilgrimage toward portfolio harmony. The filing, dated with the precision of a chronometer, reveals a philosophical commitment: VIGI now constitutes 3.25% of SWAN’s reportable assets, a fraction derived from the $246.64 million in 13F AUM as of September’s twilight. Yet behind these numbers lies a deeper truth-the ceaseless human struggle to divine the future through the entrails of quarterly reports and dividend yields.
As the year comes to a close, the Nasdaq has managed a 20% gain, while our beloved digital gold hovers in the green with a paltry 3%. Clearly, Bitcoin is in no rush to celebrate.
Troluce’s NuScale stake is now a sad, empty slot in their portfolio. Meanwhile, their new BFFs? Fluor, Capital One, and DuPont. Because nothing says “growth investing” like dating mature industrial stocks while your nuclear-powered gamble goes MIA. (Spoiler: It’s a thing.)
