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Bitcoin’s rebound into a major resistance band has traders dusting off six-figure price targets, with several desks now openly talking about a push toward $100K if spot demand holds. Who needs reality when you can just… checks notes… hold?

MSCI’s proposal, a sly whisper on October 10, threatens to reclassify Bitcoin-heavy titans as “digital asset funds,” barring them from the sacred halls of global indexes. Imagine the chaos: trillions of dollars, the lifeblood of passive investments, forced to flee in a frenzy, not a gradual retreat. JPMorgan, ever the gloomy prophet, forecasts a deluge of $8.8 billion if others follow suit. 💸💸💸

Crypto adoption surged throughout Q4 – and now, in December 2025, it’s clear we’ve entered a new self-custody era. With rising prices, year-end momentum, and more users seeking control, wallets have become the front door to everything in crypto. 🛡️

Imagine a parent-controlled sub-account app that lets kids tiptoe through the wondrous world of cryptocurrency-supervised, of course. Just what every six-year-old dreams of, right? But wait, before you pull out your hair in confusion, rest assured, the app doesn’t involve playing with volatile assets like spot or futures trading. That’s for the adults, my dear. Instead, it’s all about the gently lulling embrace of “Flexible Simple Earn” products. What could go wrong?

Picture this: industry titans such as Strategy Chairman Michael Saylor (who clearly believes Bitcoin is the new black), Ripple’s Brad Garlinghouse, Lily Liu of Solana fame, and Raoul Pal, darling of Real Vision. And amidst this glittering cavalcade, a debate to rival Shakespeare-Bitcoin versus tokenized gold, starring Peter Schiff, the ever-charming gold bug, and Binance’s own Changpeng “CZ” Zhao, who nobody laughs at when he’s on stage. And of course, all of this can be ’watched’ on Binance Live, because who wants to miss the spectacle offline? 📺💃

Speculation that Kevin Hassett could take over the Fed with a more dovish, pro-risk stance is exactly the kind of macro shift crypto loves. Trump’s name-dropping him like it’s a reality TV casting call. If Hassett gets the nod, prepare for a liquidity tsunami. Or a fiscal dumpster fire. Either way, crypto’s on the rollercoaster. 🎢

After a brief dip below $84,000, BTC staged a comeback so dramatic, it could rival a Shakespearean tragedy. Now, it’s eyeing that elusive $93,000 resistance, where analysts are whispering secrets like conspirators in a tavern. 🕵️♂️

But wait, there’s more! The altcoins were like, “Hold my energy drink,” and proceeded to outshine BTC like a sequined dress at a middle school dance. The total crypto market cap? Up $200 billion. That’s enough to make even Jack Donaghy raise an eyebrow. 💼💰