UPS in 2026: A Measured Assessment

UPS Delivery Truck

There is a prevailing notion, fueled by the relentless expansion of a certain online retailer, that the established carriers are destined to be swept aside. This, however, is a simplification. Demand for delivery services, while evolving, remains robust. The true challenge for UPS lies not in securing volume, but in extracting a reasonable return from each parcel entrusted to its care. It is a matter of refinement, of pruning the unprofitable branches to nourish the more promising shoots.

Six Flags: A Rather Wearisome Proposition

Which brings us, rather reluctantly, to Six Flags Entertainment (FUN +4.34%). The share price has enjoyed a fleeting, almost pathetic, rally to start 2026. A mere six percent. One is tempted to dismiss it as a mirage, and frankly, one suspects one would be correct. The stock has shed two-thirds of its value in the last twelve months, and a business so utterly dependent on discretionary spending is hardly a comforting prospect when consumers are displaying a distinct lack of… enthusiasm.

Growth Stocks & My Aunt Mildred

I’ve been told to identify three “no-brainer” growth stocks. The phrase feels…aggressive. Like I’m supposed to be shouting from a rooftop. I’m more of a quiet, indoor person. But, okay. Here are three, along with my increasingly anxious thoughts about them.

Tradeweb: A Chronicle of Electronic Exchange

We have, in prior examinations, traced the genesis of Tradeweb, observed its initial forays into the electronic realm. Now, we turn to its prospective trajectory, a task not of simple forecasting, but of discerning whether this enterprise merits the allocation of capital within the framework of the Voyager Portfolio. A portfolio, it must be remembered, is not a collection of symbols, but a repository of trust, a testament to the enduring hope for rational investment.

XRP: Illusions of Ascent

Determined Trader

Now, they point to 2026, a year shimmering with potential catalysts. Three illusions, carefully constructed, designed to lure in the weary and the hopeful. Let us examine them, not with the wide-eyed optimism of the gambler, but with the weary gaze of one who has seen these cycles turn and turn again.

Bitcoin’s Party Crash: Analyst Warns of Doom!

A cryptic analyst named Guru, with a twinkle in his eye, declared that what seemed like a peaceful nap was, in fact, a sneaky little trick. “Consolidation? Pah! It’s a late-stage distribution party!” he cried, waving a wand of skepticism. 🕵️‍♂️

Dividends: A Necessary Evil?

The thing is, there are different flavours of dividend-seeking. You’ve got the ‘growth’ types, companies that pretend to be innovative while quietly returning cash because they’ve run out of genuinely good ideas. And then you’ve got the high-yielders – the ones that are basically screaming, “Please don’t look too closely at our balance sheet!” It’s like choosing between a slightly mouldy peach and a suspiciously shiny apple. Both are fruit, I suppose. And both will probably give you a stomach ache.

BTC Plummets to $0! 😱 Starknet DEX Meltdown Leaves Traders in Tears 🤬 #CryptoCalamity

A “faulty database migration,” they called it-a bureaucratic snafu during maintenance. But in crypto’s Darwinian realm, such errors are execution orders. Bitcoin’s price, now a ghost of its former self, taunted users with its $0 illusion. The algorithmic beasts roared, devouring positions with the ferocity of a wolf pack. One tweet quipped: “Turns out ‘decentralized’ just means ‘unreliable’ with better marketing. 🐺”

Energy Plays: Riding the Pipeline to Oblivion

Brookfield Renewable. Sounds…responsible, doesn’t it? Like a yoga retreat for your portfolio. Don’t be fooled. These guys are POWER brokers, dealing in watts and wind and the slow, grinding march of infrastructure. They sell electricity to the utilities, to the corporations, the very entities that are slowly devouring the planet. Long-term contracts, fixed rates, 90% locked in for the next 13 years. It’s a fortress of cash flow, a goddamn money bin. 70% of that revenue is tied to inflation, which, let’s face it, is the only thing keeping this whole charade afloat. A 3.8% dividend yield. Not spectacular, but STEADY. Like a heartbeat in a dying man.

XRP: A Speculative Bubble in Search of a Pin

The bulls, those eternally optimistic creatures, continue to murmur about potential. One must admire their persistence, even as one quietly calculates the odds. They speak of a ‘rosy forecast.’ Let us examine the terrain, shall we? It appears rather…stony.