tag, not repeated in the body. Keep the tone consistent, fast-paced, and infused with Tina Fey’s sharp wit. Avoid template content, make it original. Make sure the humor is understated and fits the stock market context. End of Thought (12.14s) Fund Sells $39M of Boyd Gaming Stock, Exits MGM, Downsizes United Parks Bets Let’s talk about the Great Casino Stakeoff of Q3. HG Vora Capital Management, that finance wizard from NYC, just hit the “sell all” button on Boyd Gaming (BYD 1.30%) like it was the last slice of pizza at a family reunion. $39.1 million in shares vanished by September, per the SEC’s version of a grocery list (Form 13-F). The fund’s now playing the “I never owned anything” card with Boyd-zero shares, zero regrets. The Great Casino Stakeoff HG Vora didn’t just sell Boyd’s stock; they performed a full exorcism. 500,000 shares flipped for $39.1 million, and suddenly, Boyd Gaming is just another name on a list of companies HG Vora decided to “reconsider” this quarter. While the stock dipped slightly (it’s up 9% over the past year, but let’s be real, it’s still a slow dance compared to the S&P 500’s cha-cha), the fund’s AUM of $738 million now feels like a small asteroid in the investment cosmos. Top Holdings: The Winners and the Survivors PENN ($139.6M): Penn National’s probably high-fiving itself in the corner office. CZR ($94.6M): Caesars is still betting big, even if the odds are stacked. DRVN ($90.2M): Driven Brands must be rolling in cash-or at least in debt. FAF ($65.8M): Fortress is the financial version of a moat, but with more spreadsheets. R ($63.2M): Ralph Lauren’s probably wondering if his ties can cover the losses. Boyd’s stock closed at $79.78 this week, which is less than the price of a decent bottle of wine but more than the cost of a therapy session. HG Vora now has 14 positions to play with, and let’s just say, the poker face is on. Boyd’s Financial Snapshot: Not a Party, But Close MetricValuePrice (as of market close)$79.78Market cap$6.3BRevenue (TTM)$4.1BNet income (TTM)$1.9B Corporate Culture: Because Every Casino Needs a Host Boyd Gaming isn’t just a casino-it’s a full-service experience. They’ve got gaming floors, ancillary services (because who doesn’t want a spa after losing to the slot machine?), and a business model that’s basically a hedge fund for tourists. Their strategy? Operational efficiency (read: cutting corners without anyone noticing) and geographic diversification (because Las Vegas is so last decade). Foolish Take: When the House Always Loses HG Vora’s moves this quarter read like a reality TV show where everyone’s voted off the island. They trimmed United Parks, ditched MGM, and now Boyd’s out too. For a fund that thrives on “discounted, cash-generative businesses,” this isn’t just pruning-it’s a full-blown haircut. Their portfolio’s still heavy on leisure giants (Penn and Caesars are the VIPs), but Boyd and MGM’s exits scream “strategic realignment” (code for “we’re panicking”). Boyd’s Q3 results didn’t help. Revenue hit $1B, but adjusted EBITDAR dipped to $321.8M-like a magician who forgets how to saw people in half. Adjusted earnings were flat, and online/room revenue fell like a stock in 2008. Oh, and there was that $1.4B FanDuel gain to pad the books. Nice try, Boyd, but the underlying trends are like a sinking ship: you can paint the deck gold, but the hull’s still leaking. Boyd’s fundamentals are solid-disciplined capital returns, regional momentum-but until profitability stops looking like a rollercoaster, deep-value investors will keep betting on safer games. Like, say, crypto. Or maybe just Monopoly. Glossary: Because Jargon Is Just Fancy English 13F reportable AUM: The financial version of a GPA. If you’re above 100M, you get a gold star from the SEC.Liquidated: Selling your entire position like you’re fleeing a burning building (but with more paperwork).Form 13-F: The SEC’s version of a grocery list. It tells you what everyone else is buying/selling.Stake: Your ownership in a company. Think of it as a golden ticket, but with more risk.Ancillary services: The spa, the buffet, the tuxedo rental-because nothing says “casino” like a bad haircut.Geographic diversification: Spreading your investments like confetti across different regions (because one fire won’t burn them all).Segment diversification: Operating in multiple areas so if one fails, you can blame the other.Operational efficiency: Doing more with less, or just doing less with less. Either way, it’s a win.TTM: The 12-month period ending with the most recent quarterly report. It’s like a year in finance: long, boring, and full of taxes. And there you have it-the stock market’s version of a reality check. 🎰

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Prospect Capital’s High-Stakes Bet on Dave Inc.: A Stylish Venture

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All this, of course, is wrapped up in a sleek digital platform that promises to make financial management as effortless as an afternoon stroll in the park. Dave isn’t just a bank; it’s a vision for the future, a future where technology rules the roost and customers need never worry about fees or the tyranny of old-fashioned financial products.

ACM Research: A New Act in the Market?

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The fund, ever the stage manager, reported 70 total positions, a collection of investments as varied as the characters in a comedy of errors. Yet, this new act-ACM Research-drew the spotlight, representing 2.66% of Seldon’s 13F AUM, a percentage as significant as a soliloquy in a farce.

4D Advisors Bows Out of Masimo: A Tragi-Comedy in Three Acts 🎭

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As recorded in the sacred scrolls of the Securities and Exchange Commission, our protagonists at 4D Advisors concluded their dalliance with Masimo by casting off 45,000 shares into the void. This liquidation, valued at approximately $7,569,900, was executed with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel-or perhaps a fleeing actor’s haste from a collapsing stage set.

Forget Bitcoin and Ethereum! Why XRP Is A Different Beast, According to Canary CEO

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In his appearance on Crypto Prime, McClurg explained that the XRP Ledger is not a digital currency like Bitcoin or Ethereum, but rather a financial network designed to move money across the globe quickly and affordably. Imagine Western Union on steroids-or, for the more sophisticated reader, a highly efficient international banking system. 💰🚀

Bitcoin’s Existential Crisis? 📉

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Bybit and some people called Block Scholes (sounds very Bond villain, doesn’t it?) have produced a report suggesting Bitcoin tried to, like, bounce back this month. Bless its heart. It didn’t work. It immediately went back to sulking in a very tight range. Weak confidence? You don’t say! 🤷‍♀️

CZ’s Pardon: Not Just a Phone Call?! 🤔

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Teresa Goody Guillén – and honestly, a name like that has to be good – has insisted the whole thing was terribly… proper. Multi-step review, involving the Justice Department and White House lawyers. Apparently, there’s paperwork. Who knew? 🤷‍♀️

Pi Network Defies Market Slump: Magic or Mimblewimble? 🚀

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While most altcoins are sulking in the corner with participation trophies, Pi Network’s PI is giving everyone the side-eye. 5% up since Sunday, you say? That’s breaking the rules of the slump like, what, does it not know crypto is in a midlife crisis? 🤷♀️ricks.