Bitcoin, that fickle deity of the digital age, has endured six weeks of decline in the past seven, tumbling from its October zenith of $126,500 to a mere $81,000, before clawing back to $85,000. A fall from grace, or a mere stumble on the path to glory? 🌋
Now everyone’s asking, “Is this the beginning of the end, or just a little hiccup in the grand digital dragon dance?” Stay tuned, because it’s about as clear as a politician’s promise at a State Fair.
After almost vanishing from the global scene, China has made a sneaky return to the third spot, amassing roughly 14% of the worldwide mining capacity by October, according to Hashrate Index. Talk about an undercover operation! 🕵️♀️
Since October 15, the Solana-powered party bus handed over $436 million in USDC to Kraken, the exchange everyone pretends to trust. Blockchain data platform Lookonchain confirmed that Pump.fun’s team was basically saying, “Thanks for the memories-now, I’m out.” ✌️
Yes, XRP has managed to crawl back above the $2 line, probably tired of all the doom-and-gloom whispers. The charts, which are more dramatic than a Tolstoy novel, turned from despair to excitement overnight.
When an asset plunges deep into oversold territory while setting new “I haven’t seen prices this low since dial-up internet” records, one of two things happens: either sellers collapse from exhaustion (cue the rebound), or the downtrend drags on like a bad movie sequel-slow, painful, and devoid of popcorn-worthy excitement. 🍿📉
Kevin, with the solemnity of a prophet, unveils a weekly chart that reads like a prophecy. The $0.138 level, he declares, is a confluence of Fibonacci, moving averages, and a trendline that feels more like a noose than a safety net. “This is the fulcrum,” he intones, “where the bull case either stands or collapses into the void.” 🐕💸
And yet, I continue. Not with enthusiasm, but with the quiet persistence of a clerk who arrives at the office regardless of weather. If I were to choose one ETF to hold-indeed, the only one-I would select the Vanguard Total Stock Market ETF (VTI +1.16%). Not because it sparkles. It does not. But because it endures. And endurance, in markets as in life, is often the only victory available.
Investing, whether in stocks or crypto, often hinges on a simple truth: what seems cheap might not be. A company’s stock price is but one thread in a vast tapestry of value, and the same applies to digital assets. Shiba Inu, for all its meme-like charm, exists in a liminal space between novelty and speculation. It is the financial equivalent of a carnival ride-entertaining, but not necessarily wise to invest your life savings in.
In a stunning display of crypto spite and capitalistic exuberance, Monad has allegedly secured $269 million from 85,820 subscribers-perhaps victims of coupon-clicking hypnosis-raising eyebrows and price graphs before their mainnet debuts.
